I have a few moments to myself. About 15 minutes. 20 if I push it. It's pretty... weird.
I've decided to give up soft drinks. Here's why...
scary right? By the time I'd read the whole way through, the thought of finishing my bottle of coke made me feel ill.
Still gonna partake in the occasional can of coke though. They're only little! And I'm gonna need the caffeine if I keep this up.
Something's gotta give. But what?
The barwork... I love it.. but it leaves me exhausted.
Evening work.. It would be very, very stupid to give that up. Not only was it my only source of income for a long time, but I can carry on working away on my laptop while I do it. It's also quite easy and the least stressful of all.
The door job thingie, and organising student night SUCH a cushy job, and the only reason I get to go to Oiche na Mac Leinn - if I quit it, that's be that. But it does mean I'm in this diabhal building for over 12 hours on a tuesday!
Well... not this tuesday.
I was very, very late for my work placement today. I am so.. so tired. I fainted! (I think!) I feel terrible - guilty and tired and ... guilty! This is why something has GOT to give. Fine, yes, I know I don't get paid for it, but I really, really wanted to make a good impression and wow them - and at first that's exactly what I did - but like, 2 weeks in and I'm just... well, let's just put it this way - the girl I work with, who's wonderful and a good friend of mine, seemed really, really pissed off with me. I don't blame her. I couldn't get away with this sparcity of punctuality anywhere else...
But I didn't say a word to her. Was petrified to... More importantly, she's heard enOUGH excuses from me already - and I'm sick of making them! I just need to get my act together. No more excuses.
Or I suppose I could ask for the work to be shared out a bit more evenly - but I don't wanna be stuck doing the crappy jobs... I'm lucky I'm not organising papers, or making coffee - I have REAL work to do!
My dad said to me today: Long distance runners pace themselves, Aoife. You're not superwoman.
Typically, the best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can't.
"You can't jump that!"
"You'll never get an A1 in English..."
"You can't cram shorthand - it's a skill you have to learn gradually."
"You can't down that in one!"
"You won't be able to lift that"
So, yeah - fuck that!
Y'know what? I was given a helluva lot to do - because they knew (or, hoped!) I was up to it. And I bleddy-well AM up to it! I am gonna find a way to get it together and blow them away.
I AM freakin superwoman! Just you wait and see..