Tuesday, November 21, 2006

"clean violence"

*class assignment*
Of the 12,147 calls made to the Women's Aid National Helpline in 2004, 33% were related to physical violence and 13% to sexual abuse. Interestingly, however, 44% of the calls related to emotional abuse. This is a startling statistic that brings to mind one of Women's Aid's slogans: "You don't need a bruise to be abused."

Emotionally abusive relationships are widespread in marriages, families and the workplace. The subtle, insidious relationship that "emotional abusers" and their "victims" evolve is extremely damaging and near impossible to prove.

The abuse often builds over a long period of time until it becomes so unbearable that victims lash out in frustration and anger, only to appear unstable and aggressive themselves. Abusers systematically "destabilize" and confuse their victims (with irrational, threatening behaviour that preys on the victims' fears and self-doubts), to isolate and control them and ultimately destroy their identity.

For outside observers (friends and family) recognising this "clean violence" is near impossible. Emotional abusers are often sufferers of the little-recognised, covert disorder; Narcissism.

Narcissists are relentless "predators", incapable of compassion or empathy. They will always blame the victim and never see their actions as wrong. They are also careful not to reveal themselves to anyone else, showing only the false, winning persona (that hooked you) to the rest of the world.

Manipulation is second nature and it's common that they may even turn those closest to the victim against them. Abusers will slowly and methodically erode your sense of self. Victims can find no explanation for their situation or their behaviour, and blame themselves.

Sufferers are advised to get support and leave the relationship if personal, or take legal action if it is professional. This is not easy to execute in every case as emotional abuse is so hard to detect and prove – even the victim finds it hard to grasp what is happening; or believe it.

The International 16 Days of Action Opposing Violence Against Women campaign (November 25 th - December 10th), now in it's 16th year, has grown to have over 2000 organisations participating worldwide since it began in November 1991.

It addresses the problem of abuse against women, and brings about a great surge in awareness. Stressing statistics that are impossible to ignore (e.g. 18% (1 in 5) of Irish women surveyed who had been involved in intimate relationships with men, had been abused by a current or former partner, and international statistics aren't much better).

Woman's Aid receive many requests for local and national radio interviews during the campaign every year. These, along with TV appearances and media events (such as 5 women in wedding dresses who stood outside the Dáil last year to highlight the "1 in 5" statistic) create a huge surge in awareness, and, according to Margaret Martin, Director of Women's Aid; "Our Helpline literally starts to hop."

"The most worrying thing is still the 2 in every 5 calls we are unable to answer. This is increasing year on year," she says. How likely is it that women, perhaps frightened or hesitant to call, will ever ring back if they get no answer? Organisations such as these need more funding, and more must be established or existing ones must expand their horizons.

"On average a woman will be assaulted by her partner or ex-partner 35 times before reporting it to the police." How much less likely a sufferer of emotional abuse would be to report their plight when it is near impossible to recognise; when so few people have even heard of it; when so many sufferers blame themselves?

Abuse in its many forms is a widespread problem, and increased awareness of emotional abuse would protect hundreds of people from severe emotional damage and possible breakdowns. The anguished confusion and self doubt could be avoided, and ties cut before the situation became worse.

"Last year a woman rang our Helpline after I was on the Afternoon Show on RTE to say she was abused for 30 years but never spoke to anyone about it until then."

Siobhan Kavanagh, Co-ordinator of Open Door Network, Kerry (one of the many national supporters of the 16 Days campaign) says "In our work, we see awareness as the first step towards change". Such an attitude would be hugely beneficial to dealing with the problem of emotional abuse, too.

( A very interesting book: http://www.amazon.com/Stalking-Soul-Emotional-Erosion-Identity/dp/1885586531 )

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

An t Oireachtas i nDoire

7ú Samhain
An t Oireachtas i nDoire

Táim cinnte go raibh gach cuairteoir a bhí ag Oireachtas na Samhna i nDoire Colmcille seachtaine seo chaite tuirseach traochta tnáite ina dhiaidh. Cé go raibh a lán imeachtaí iontacha ag siúl i rith an lae ón 2-5 Samhain, bhí an chraic is mó ag an Oireachtas le fáil ag Club na Féile in Óstán na Cathrach. Pé áit sa chathair a raibh na cuairteoirí don Oireachtas ag taiscéal i rith an lae, tháinig siad le chéile um thráthnóna anseo.

Oíche i ndiaidh oíche bhí an áit dubh leis na mílte daoine idir an óg agus aosta - múinteoirí agus daltaí, léiritheoirí agus mic léinn, páistí, seandaoine, gaeilgeoirí, turasóirí agus foirne ceamara - lean siad go léir ar aghaidh ag ól, ag canadh agus ag damhsa go dtí timpeall a trí ar maidin gach lá, agus iad go léir ag déanamh fíoriarracht an Ghaeilge a bhí acu a labhairt.

D'osclóifear an Féile go hoifigúil le ceolchoirm iontach tráthnóna Dé Céadaoin. Cuirfear i láthair é mar cabaret le hoidí agus mic léinn ó Chlár Oideachais Ealaíne Bhláthanna. Bhí amclár an tOireachtas lán le himeachtaí de gach saghas - sport, damhsa, ealaíon, litríocht, na meáin cumarsáide, ceol, cultúr - go dtí an lá deireanach. Oíche Dé Domhnach bhí Aifreann an Oireachtais ar maidin, Comórtas Iománaíochta na gClubanna sa meánlae agus Seirbhís Eacúiméineach um thráthnóna. Chríochnaigh an féile le tradisiúntas, agus meas do stair ár gcúltúr agus a tslí a mbíonn sé fite fuaite lenár gcreideamh.
Bhí An tOireachtas ar siúl i nDoire don chéad uair riamh ó bunaíodh an fhéile in 1897. Bhí fáilte roimh gach duine i rith an Oireachtais, ar aon nós bhí tairbhe iontach le baint ag an eacnamaíocht áitiúil as an ocáid agus ar a laghad €3 mhilliún sa bhreis á chaitheamh sa chathair.

Bhí gach leaba sa cheantair lán, ach bhí sé an-deacair lóistín a fháil sa cathair féin go háirithe. Sílim go raibh pócaí na dtiománaithe tacsaí comh lán freisin, le daoine ag dul timpeall gan aon dóchas sna busanna (nach raibh iontach sábháilte, chun an fhírinne a rá) agus iad ag fanacht lasmuigh den cathair.

Ba é an comórtas damhsa ar an sean nós ceann de na himeachtaí laethúla a bhí ar siúl. Ba chuid suntais é gan dabht agus é beo ar an aer óna trí a chlog tráthnóna Dé Sathairn. Bhí daoine chomh hóg le seacht mbliana d'aois agus roinnt eile ag damhsa le trocha bliain anúas ag glacadh páirte, ach síos tríd na haoisghrúpaí bhí an caighdeán damhsa dochreidte go hiomlán. Bhí sé soiléir ón mbualadh bos agus ón mbéiceach go léir gur bhain an lucht féachana an-taithneamh as an taispeántas.

Friday, August 25, 2006

"one out of every million"

*bad, old posts from 03ish, imported from myspace blog*
Few things annoy me as much as chain letters...

bloody things drive me up the walls!

they're much less common in the post than they used be...(apart from that weird one, "send a (freshly bought!!)pair of panties to whoever sent you this, then send it on to 50 people - you'll have 50 new pairs of panties!!!")

but that's only since chain-e-mails replaced the old-fashioned letters..!

y'know, i have to say...one out of every million of'm are actually a pleasure to recieve...! rather than a hair-pulling annoyance... they're not all bad.

here's a selection of them... the few i resisted deleting.



Fw: When a Guy Says He Misses You...

When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

Girl facts:

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "Ill love you forever,"
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more than that

---repost this in 10 minutes and your true love will call you (etc etc)



go here!!! He deserves it: http://www.somethingwrong.co.uk/crazy_frog_baseball/



Question 1: > If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind,
one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2: > It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three
candidates. Candidate A. > Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist.
He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day
Candidate B. > He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, > used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey
every evening.
Candidate C. > He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't > smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated
on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? > > > >
Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >


Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. > > >
Candidate B is Winston Churchill. > > >
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler. > >
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: > > If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
> > Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging > someone. > Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep > reading... > > Never be afraid to try something new. > >

Remember: Amateurs...built the ark. Professionals...built the > Titanic > > >
And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has > a little more than 500 employees and has the following
statistics: > >

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse > > * 7 have been arrested for fraud > > * 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses >
* 3 have done time for assault >
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit >
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges > >
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting > >
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits > >
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year... > > > >

Can you guess which organisation this is? > > > > > > Give up yet? > > > It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The > same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to > keep the rest of us in line. > > > You gotta pass this on....



Dublin Drinking Guide
SYMPTOM: Pint appears to be crystal clear...
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him/her.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognise anyone, don't even recognise the room you're in.
FAULT: Don't panic - you've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they've any free pints anyhow.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest pet dog, complain about how house training has "gone to the dogs nowadays".

SYMPTOM: Pint appears unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to get you another pint.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You've fallen over backwards.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar counter.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains fag-ends.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tastes tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to loo, practise in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurry.
FAULT: You're looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to get you another pint.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another pub/party

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed, have yez no homes to go to
ACTION: Confirm home address with barman, grab taxi home.

SYMPTOM: Taxi's interior suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on a table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear though.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologise to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: That lager is too weak.
ACTION: Have more drink until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Ugly woman/man in your sights.
FAULT: Insufficient beer intake.
ACTION: Up dosage immediately.

SYMPTOM: Shins and toes hurt.
FAULT: You've been walking into things.
ACTION: Maintain dosage.

SYMPTOM: Squishy feeling in the hands.
FAULT: You have grabbed hold of a woman's breasts.
ACTION: Duck to avoid boyfriend's fist.

SYMPTOM: Bed is bumping around.
FAULT: Taking an ambulance ride.
ACTION: It's too late, you made complete arsehole of self.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Impartial Internet (~Rant~)

*bad, old posts from 03ish, imported from myspace blog*

those personality quiz things are so addictive!

i've a huge project due waaay too soon and whenever i get on the laptop to get somethin done, i end up tickin boxes to find out What's My Inner Hair Colour or What Breed of Dog I Am

it's mad!

I'M mad. it just takes so little effort and passes time, whenever i'm too tired from the night before to feel like doin much. except procrastinate the hours away....

i dunno what makes them so appealing to people. maybe it's that, if you get a complimentary/funny result, you can post it somewhere - letting people know yer great! without feelin like yer blabbing? or without seemin up yer own arse.

well that's not my reason. of course. *cough* nah seriously though, some results aren't exactly stuff i'd broacast to make myself look good.. i just think they're a laugh! they're pointless, mindless entertainment. for when there's nothing on tv.

and i like answering the questions more than i do getting the results. they're questions about yourself people never ask - so you never get to think about. after a good long, pointless, hour-consuming quiz, i always feel a little more enlightened as to what exactly goes on in my head. a step closer to deciphering SOME bit of sense from the mess of thoughts, all clamouring and tryin to out-shout each other.

the questions may be simple, but make you think. some quizzes are a laugh, but some can make you look at yourself. and if you get a result ya don't like, maybe you needed to hear it.

friends make allowances, and don't always tell you "you're a fucking moron" when you ARE. and when you need to hear it. so often can't be relied on. and non-friends have a tendency to say that sh!t ANYWAY so can't be relied on either really.

but when it's your own honest, private answers, and a faceless, unbiased third party giving it's opinion, it can be really helpfull.

really these quizzes are a watered-down version or the exact reason i love the internet. you can get an outside, detached person's point of view on something and that's really helped me a lot.

be it some arbitrary randomer from a chatroom, fat 30 year old internet-addicts on msn, or bitter middle-aged women on advice forums who claim to have "seen it all"... it's always interesting to get the point of view of someone who hasn't a clue what they're talking about, either to show you what NOT to do, or strengthen your hunch by forcing you to defend it.

or, the odd time, you'll find some real pearls of windom out there..cos whatever your dilemma...when you've a wire connecting you to millions of people all over the world...someone's "bin there". NO situation's as unique as ya first think.

hey look! i made a point!
better quit qhile i'm ahead.