Wednesday, June 20, 2012

School => College => Blank

I can't believe that, in less than two weeks, my life will change.  It's been around 6 years since leaving school, and this is the first time the Blank has started to fill itself in.

Four years of Journalism (not a waste, very interesting, but knew by early year 3 it wasn't for me...  did it anyway.)
One year in Retail (my part-time college job that kept me on, thankfully, but started to feel like I'd be stuck there forever.  Scary isn't the word.)
And, finally, one year in I.T. in DCU.  And what a year.  The amount they crammed into one year was astonishing.  And effective...:

The day after my last exam I was offered a job.  A nice job.  An IT job.  A job I think I can do - and do well! The sort of job that, had I sat down with a pen and paper and described my perfect first-step into I.T., I'd have come up with something like this job.  I'd probably then have crumpled up the page and thrown it away knowing I'd never get so lucky.

But I did. :D

I should have maybe taken some time off (I'll be finishing one job Friday, starting the new one Monday) but that's just the way the negotiations worked out...

As dulled and dead and hopeless as my current job has made me feel in the past... I'm startled to find I feel really very sad to be leaving it.  Just over three years.  Lots of friends.  A job that I can do with my eyes closed; one I'm good at, comfortable with, experienced in.

I had twinkly eyes and a lump in my throat after handing the owner my notice.  He was taken aback, disappointed, genuinely thought it was a shame I was leaving.  Shook my hand, too, and said it was a pleasure working with me.  Seemed happy for me.  Hope he was.

It's not that I don't want to go... well, actually, a part of me doesn't.  The part that's comfortable, confident in the job I've done for so long, the part that'll miss her friends, and even the workmates who definitely AREN't friends.  It feels a bit like it's madness applying for an I.T. job after only a year studying it!  Also, the contract is flippin' HUGE and has a whole world of scary inside (Life Assurance?! Pension?! Eek!)

It is madness.  But it's good madness.  And never mind that ^part; all the other parts of me know I can do this, and well, exceedingly well!

Just hope it's as great as I hope it'll be.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

New Year. Day 3. Wee hours.

Write here more? We'll see.
Draw more? Hopefully.

More water, and cut down on caffeine, sugar, alcohol, and cigarettes.
Stay positive (going well, but no harm renewing the more important goals)
Most of the same resolutions as I've had every year, tbh.

So what's new?

Go easier on myself? Well. That's a new one.
This semester - half of my path to a bright new future - was tough. With the play finished (sort of) I've at least got my evenings back. My part-time job will still take up two and a half days a week, but I can't afford to cut back on that.

So how else can I reclaim time for me-time? How can I go easier on myself? I must meet the demands of my course - and I always give 100%.

But.. Someone informed me my course awards a distinction for 70+, and everything else is just a pass! Discouraging, and makes me wonder if maybe aiming a little lower than I usually do wouldn't be such a bad thing... I could get 69, or 40%, and get the same diploma. Why wear myself out?

Why? Because that's what I do - how I'm wired - and how it has to be.

... Some days I wish I had the willpower to hang back. Relax, and coast through. In the end..
Oh well!