Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Littlest Security Guard

When reading this, bear in mind I'm 5'7", blonde and have no experience whatsoever doing security. I guess I get asked to do these sorta things because I'm the sort of impulsive person who goes, sure to hell with it - why not!


So, late last Friday, I was on my way home from Dublin to Limerick (4hours on bus) to spend a nice quiet weekend with my family.

My friend Aisling calls me out of the blue – quick! 16 people who were supposed to do security ran off - taking their Access-All-Areas wristband with them. We’re in a lot of trouble and REALLY short-staffed – you in?

Why not! I tell my parents when I come in the door... "Sorry, I can’t stay long… Know how I couldn’t afford to go to Oxegen? Well… I’m going for free!"

10am the next morning I’m back in Kildare at the Oxegen music festival and ready to start work.

I’ve never experienced anything like it.

Where was I stationed? Only the Dance Arena – the epicentre of all the drugs, violence, and general dodginess at the festival! I’m sick to death of dance music after it (been hearing the “nnsk nnsk nnsk” in my head ever since!!)

You may think “wow cool! Being paid to go to a festival!!!” And that’s what I thought. But, no, not so cool. Throwing water at people, throwing people out, beind sicked on, carrying drunk girls to Med-centre, breaking up fights, wading through muck and mud, checking the portaloos for drug-dealers, guarding barriers, stomping tablets into the floor, trying to talk sense to people who's eyes are popping out of their heads...

The only act I got to see was the very last one of the weekend, just before I ran for my bus (had work at 9 the following morning!) And that act was… Rage against the Machine!!! Absolutely AMAZING gig, I saw the last hour of it (so really didn’t miss much) including their dazzlingly good encore…

Naturally they closed with Killing in the Name Of, and, even though I ran for the bus immediately after, I was an hournahalf late for work this morning. So… exhausted…

But, who cares!!! They were the only band I REALLY wanted to see and were mind-blowingly good and it was free… apart from the soul-destroying labour…!

Saw some crazy stuff over the course of the weekend. Being sober, and spending the whole time watching the (wasted drunk) crowd like a hawk, means you see some really REALLY odd goings-on! Here are some of the weirdest moments:

Told a fello to put out his cigarette (no smoking/cans/bottles allowed in Dance Arena building) and… he took it out of his mouth, turned it backwards, and put it back into his mouth. Quenching it with his tongue. I gaped at him and he smirked at me (cig still in mouth!) and, speechless, I walked on!

Roughly snatched a can out of a guy’s hand and yelled at him… he turned out to be one of the DJs – oops.

Saw 3 girls stooped on ground in front of a Portaloo, went to investigate. As I got to them, they were just standing up and one girl was showing the others a handful of E tablets (about 15 maybe) – as I couldn’t prove they were theirs (they insisted they’d just picked them up) I just took them away and said nothing to them, then threw them in a puddle of filthy portaloo-run-off water and stomped them into dust, then kicked mud over them and went back inside. 5 minutes later, another security guard tells me he saw a guy (in aviator glasses and a Hunter S-style hat) on his hands and knees picking around in the puddle and eating them. Urgh.

Asleep in fellow-security-guard’s Chicky-chento in the security carpark, and in the middle of the night the lads (all big securty-type fellas) picked the car – and us – up and spun us around, shook us, bounced us, and left us down a few meters from where we started (pointing a different direction) - I was so tired that I slept right through it! I didn’t even hear my Aisling (the other guard in car with me) screaming “FUCK OFF LADS!!!! COP THE FUCK ON!!” as we were held in the air (strong sleeper I guess!!)

Was asked HUNDREDS of times by people whether I would sell them the stuff I’d confiscated. Unbelievable! (Besides, anything I found was MINE!)

Fella from the Fratellies got in fight with one of the other guards – pulled the whole “don’t you know who I am?!” routine when told he couldn’t exit through an entrance-only door.

It was nice that I got to see Rage, (and buy a tshirt!) but I don’t know if I’d go again. It was good craic in the security carpark (drinkin all the confiscated cans and bottles and stuff – very cool!) but the hours were too much, 15hours Saturday – no break (and only got to sit down when on toilet – that was pretty much it.) and 11 hours on Sunday with a 10 minute break… Ate out “dinner” (our only meal in whole day) standing at our posts.

Feet still killing me.

Also saw 2 dudes dressed up as the 11850 guys.

And that’s not even the half of it…!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Deireadh le Ré

Tá an Club chun dúnadh taobh istig de bhliain. Táimid ag druidim chun deireadh le Ré an Conartha ar 6 Sr. Fhearchair. Cé nach chreidim féin go foil é, tá sé fíor... :(

Fuair mé post (eile!) ann. Thosaigh mé Dé Luain ag obair taobh thiar den bar (Aisteach – cleachtaithe le bheith ar an taobh eile!) Bhí mé ag iaraidh níos mó am a chaitheamh ann sula nimionn sé…

Tá an “auction” le bheith ar siúl ar an 15ú la Iúl. Cé go mbeidh na daoine sna hoifigí thuas bogtha amach go háiteanna sealadacha gan rómhoill, ní bheidh an club dúnta láithreach. Tá daoine ag rá go bhfanfaidh sé ar oscailt go dtí am na Nollaig. Tá obair na hoifigi le leanúint ar aghaidh, ach ní thugann sé sin mórán sólás dúinn… domsa. Táim croíbhriste!!

Ní dóigh liom go bhfuil ‘fhios ag duine ar bith cé comh fhada is a mbeidh an club dúnta, imithe, marbh... 3 bhliaina? 10 mbliaina? Go deo? Thóg sé tamaill fada an áit a chur le chéile sa bhealach ina bhfuil sé anois… Tá cuma “charming” air, agus céard faoi na truscáin álainn? An bhfuil aon áit stóras ar fáil go dtí go bhfuil áit nua socraithe?

Tá neart luaidreáin ag eitilt thart… An mbeidh go leoir airgid chun an Ionad mhór nua seo a cheannach? I measc an fhaitíos ar fad faoin spealadh eacnamúil atá tar éis teacht ar an tír, an é seo an am is fearr le bogadh? An mbeidh an airgead céanna le fail ón rialtais? An gheobhaidh siad preighis mhaith don áit? Táim scanraithe, sin an méid... Táim cinnte go bhfuil fhios acu cad tá ar bun acu – tá an cuma orthu go bhfuil.

Thit mé i ngrá leis an cathair nuair a tháinig mé go Baile Átha Cliath dhá bhliain ó shin, ach ‘sé an conradh an áit is fearr liom sa cathair, agus sa tír! An méid de stair atá ag baint leis an áit .. Tá sé treascrach… Tá pictiúirí taobh thiar den barr ón tréimhse ina raibh an áit in úsáid mar banc Sinn Féin fadó. Is breá liom an fhoirgneamh í féin – na tolláin faoi Áras Móibhi; na sean-shimléir; na síleálacha airde... Tá draíocht éigin san áit, nach bhfuil? Gach uair a théim ann, agus é ciúin, suimhneach... breathnaím thart ag smaoineamh. Dearfainn go mbeadh na mballaí in ann an-chuid scéalta a insint! Samhlaigh é!

Idir óg agus aosta, is cuma sa chlub. Tá beagnach gach éinne cairdiúl, cainteach, ag baint sult as an cumarsáid trí mheán na Gaeilge le daoine leis an suim céanna. Gach éinne ag iarraidh ár dteanga a usáid, agus a chleachtadh. Cuireann sé Cheers i gcuimhne orm!

Bíonn sé ar nós go bhfuil tú tar éis éalú ón cathair ar feadh tréimhse. Uaireanta i mbliaina nuair a bhí rudaí ag éirí ró-deacair orm – an brú ag méadú agus an cathair gnóthach ag tabhairt tinneas cinn dhom – bhí mé comh sásta i ndiaigh cúpla uair a chloig a chaitheamh ann. Fiú nuair a bhí mé ag obair thuas staighre ag cabhrú ag an fáiltiú – tá aitmaisféir san áit nach gheobhfá in áit ar bith eile…

Bhí mé ag caint le fear amháin aréir atá ag teacht ann le daichead bhliain anúas… Tá daoine eile ann gach seachtain, bíonn na mic léinn ann gach Máirt… bhraitheann an-chuid daoine ar an áit. It’s one of a kind! Cheapas go mbeidh sé ann go deo. Actually, chun an fhírinne a rá, níor smaoinigh mé riamh ar sin. I suppose I took for granted that it’d always be there.

An grá atá agam don Gaeilge, thug an club dom é, agus na daoine a bhíonn ag crocadh thart ann. Chas mé le cairde iontach ann. Chonaic mé taobh do muintir BÁC, agus do Tír seo, nar fhaca mé riamh roimhe. Spreag sé mé agus anois sé mo bhrionglóid ná a bheith ag obair sna meáin cumáirsáide Gaeilge as seo amach i mo iriseóir, nó scríobhneoir. Gaeilge agus Béarla.

Chas mé le lucht Aisteoirí Bulfinn sa chonradh. D’fhoghlaim mé mo chuid gaeilge leo –agus aisteoireachta!

…ag cleachtadh drámaíochta, ag ól, ag caint, ag pleichíocht… ag cóisirí, ag ceiliúradh cibé rud… Is cuimhin liom an chéad oíche leo – an léamhscriopta. Oh holy God! Ní raibh mé ach cúpla mhí sa coláiste, agus ní raibh mé i mo Uachtarán an Cumann Gaelach ag an am sin, mise á rá leat!! Ní raibh mo chuid ghailge go han-mhaith (bhí sé HOPELESS) agus bhí mé go hIOMLÁN caillte! Hehe... Fiú nuair a fuair mé “grind” sa bhliain deireanach sa mheanscoil, ní fuair mé ach B2 nó rud éicint… Sa scoil, bhí Gaeilge ró-dheacair dhom. Nó, sin a cheap mé!

Bhíomar ag léimh an scriopt (well, bhí mé ag iarraigh – ag stopadh ag gach dara focail chun “sounding out” a dhéanamh leis… Náireach!) Níor thuig mé teideal an drama (let alone an chuid eile de!) Níor thuig mé rud ar bith a dúradh liom. Bhí mé ag cogar istig i cluas mo chara (What did he just say to me…?)

Fuair mé páirt – bhí an cuma ceart orm don charactar! D’fhás mo chuid Gaeilge go tapaigh – bhí mé tar éis léimt isteach sa “deep end” agus níorbh ann ach dhá rogha (“snámh” a roghnaigh mé!)

Oibríonn an tumoideachas. Fuair mé tumoideachas ó lucht Bulfinn, agus ó Club an Conartha. Is aoibhinn liom bheith ann leis an cumann gaelach (MO chumann anois! Sin cé comh fhada is a tháinig mé!)

Gan an conradh, níl fhios agam cá mbeadh mé anois. Beadh mo Gaeilge i bhfad níos laige – I bhfad ró lag le bheith dáiríre faoi obair sna méain Gaeilge. Ní bheadh an post seo agam san Acadamh Ríoga na hÉireann don Samhraidh. Ní bheidh mé ag dul go Inis Oirr an deireadh seachtaine seo chugainn go dtí an Tionól Gaeltachta (le cairde ón conradh AGUS Bulfinn!)

Go bunúsach….. sé mo phointe ná, d’athraigh an Conradh (agus an Club faoi) mo shaol.

Beidh sé deacair slán a rá leis an áit, y’know?

Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.