Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Le foilsiu i "TOAST" (Irish nua DIT)

Ar an Luan, 17 Samhain, chuaigh cúigear mac léinn ó ITBÁC go hÁras an Uachtaráin le freastal ar thaifeadadh an "Presidential Lecture Series", sraithchlár trípháirteach de chuid RTÉ Raidió a hAon. Ar an lá rinneadh taifead ar an chéad dhá pháirt, a chraolfar ar an 30 agus 31 Nollaig ag 1.30i.n. Déarfainn go raibh thart ar 60 mac léinn ann ar an lá, a tháinig ó beagnach gach aon choláiste triú leibhéal sa tír, agus bhí daoine ann ó thíortha eile chomh maith atá ina gcónaí in Éirinn anois.

Mar dhuine de na daoine a roghnaigh ITBÁC, tá mé ag súil go mór le héisteacht leis! Ba chóir go mbeadh ITBÁC fíorbhródúil as an gcúigear againn agus as an ionchur luachmhar a thugamar don díospóireacht. Tá sé soiléir gur phioc na coláistí ar fad na daoine is neamhbhalbha agus is gníomhaí i saol an choláiste, agus go ginearálta bíonn mic léinn níos fearr nó dream ar bith eile ag teacht aníos le ceisteanna spreagúla, suimiúil agus cliste. Táim cinnte go bhfuair Joe Duffy (a bhí mar láithreoir ar an chláir) i bhfad níos mó ná mar a bhí sé ag tnúth leis!

Bhí beirt chainteoir ann ar an lá, ceann amháin do gach clár sa tsraith agus bhí deis againn ceisteanna a chur orthu agus ar an tUachtarán í féin. Bhí an bheirt chainteoir an-mhaith. Sa chéad pháirt labhair Martin O' Neill, captaen ar Aston Villa agus Éireannach ó dhúchas faoi 'Cad is Éireannachas ann?' (dár leis féin). Labhair sé go han-ionraic ar fad, ag tarraingt óna thaithí féin ag fás aníos sa tuaisceart. Nuair a thosaigh sé ag imirt sacair mar ógánach, mar shampla, níor ligeadh dó leanúint ar aghaidh lena chuid traenáil leis an Cumann Lúthchleas Gael a thuilleadh. Léirigh sé cé chomh mór is atá athrú tagtha ar an saol ó na laethanta sin. Léirigh sé cé chomh aisteach is a mhothaigh sé nuair a tháinig beirt Shasana chuig a theach chun agallamh a chur air roimh do bheith ina chaptaen ar Aston Villa. Chruthaigh sé íomhá siombalach go leor faoin bheirt fhear seo sa seomra suí leis agus an dhá phictiúir clasaiceach mar mhaisiú ar na ballaí - Pádraig Mac Piarais agus an croí rónaofa.

Bhí neart ceisteanna ag na mic léinn dhó, ach is í an tUachtarán a thug an freagra is fearr ar an cheist faoin chiall a bhaineann le hÉireannachas. D'aontaigh sí nach bhfuil an bhrí céanna ann inniu is a bhí san am atá thart. Ach, fiú i measc an domhandú, an galldú agus gach rud eile a bhaineann le sochaí nua-aimseartha se'againne, ní féidir linn dearmad a dhéanamh ar na mílte daoine i dtíortha eile atá fíorbhródúil as na fréamhacha atá acu, nó ag a gcuid sheantuismitheoirí as Éirinn. Tá brí éigin ag baint le sin – tá Éireannachas tábhachtach do na daoine sin, fiú anois nuair nach bhfuil sé chomh tábhachtach céanna do cuid againn in Éirinn, b'fhéidir.

Is é Pádraig Ó Ceidigh, Stiúrthóir Bainistíochta Aer Arann, a bhí mar chainteoir in dhiaidh am lóin. Labhair sé faoi chúrsaí eacnamaíochta na laethanta seo, agus cad is féidir linn a dhéanamh mar thír chun na fadhbanna ar fad a réiteach. Dúirt sé go bhfuil an todhchaí inár láimhe féin mar mhic léinn – tá an chéad chéim eile suas againne. Tá fiontraíocht agus nuálaíocht ag teastáil ón chéad ghlúin eile chun Éire a thógáil tríd na laethanta deacra dorcha seo romhainn amach. Mar chainteoir, bhí sé sármhaith, fíor spreagúil agus bríomhar. Labhair sé gan script nó rud ar bith aige ach é féin agus a scéal ionraic faoi conas a bhunaigh sé Aer Arann.

D'oscail agus dhún an tUachtarán an dhá chlár. Níor dúradh linn cathain a mbeadh an triú cuid den tsraith á thaifeadadh, ach nach cuma; bhí an lá fada go leor mar a bhí sé! Bhíomar ann ó mheán lae go dtí leathuair tar éis a cúig. Ach, fós féin, thaitin an lá go mór liom, agus is cosúil ó na rudaí a chuala mé gur thaitin sé le gach duine eile chomh maith. Ní raibh an lá crua ar chor ar bith, le sosanna fada, sólaistí áille, agus neart tae agus caife chun muid a choinneáil sásta. Bhí deis iontach againn labhairt le daoine ó choláistí eile chomh maith – tá fáilte den scoth san Áras!

Monday, November 24, 2008

To whom it may concern...


Dear Assholes,

I'm writing to all the self-obsessed, the pity-whores, the thoughtless wankers, the bitter, and the stupid people who have passed through my life... I’ve befriended you, worked with you, dated you, fallen for you, or dumped/been dumped by you. And tonight I would like to simply Thank You - just for being you!

I’d like to thank you because a lot of your horrid traits, ignorance, closed-mindedness, warped world-views, and selfish, evil hearts have made me think – wow, I hope I’M never like that. So, it lit a fire under me, and I’ve become more vigilant in my self-analysis and self-improvement. And I’ve grown a lot with every asshole I’ve encountered, and become a better person.

I always try to apologise when I fuck up – I know how important it is, because you DON’T. Even when you DO realise you’re wrong... (Rare as THAT may be, it does happen, except in the stupider majority of you)

I tend to be considerate of other people, and make an effort to be friendly, include people, and put people around me at ease – because I know how much things sucked when YOU DIDN’T BOTHER.

I don’t huff and puff and put on a grumpy face for attention, sympathy… or to coax someone into asking “Oh, what’s wrong?” Because YOU’VE shown me how irritating it is to be on the receiving end of that blatant attention-seeking “look-at-meee” bullshit. If you're over 4, you should be over THAT.

I try not to bitch about people or gossip, because it used to feel SHIT to find out assholes like YOU say worse about me. I say 'used to', because it doesn’t bother me anymore. (Desensitised to it at this stage – again, thanks to you assholes!!)

When I find myself acting like one of you, I stop and correct myself immediately – my worst fear is of becoming as shit a person as one of you guys. It would kill me! Awareness, and first-hand experience of what I don’t wanna EVER be, has helped me spot the warning signs and NOT end up like you. Thanks!

I try to reach a compromise, as I know how fucking infuriating it is when someone refuse to budge. Speaking of infuriating, how about those close-minded assholes among you? You lot are some piece of work. Convinced your word is truth and no one else’s opinion counts… Arguing with people like you shows me how NOT to get your point across effectively, and how to PISS everyone off so that they’ll NEVER take what you say on board.

And music snobs who judge people on what they listen to – btw, Goths, emos and all you other “alternative” peeps are JUST as guilty; perhaps MORE so, actually. Speaking of you lot, I have some goth friends, so I'm not attacking ALL of you, but, for the most part you're just attention-craving dickheads who think they're more interesting because they don't "conform" - bullshit bullshit BULLSHIT. Adopting an opinion, dress code or way of life JUST to be seen as different is CRAPPY and TACKY and HOLLOW and SHALLOW and just plain SAD. Try forming your own opinions, style and personality instead of joining a colony of clones. Stop hating people who are comfortable in their own skin and grow a pair... You're no better than people who go to restaurants and cause big scenes cos they're "vegan" or whatever and want EVERYONE to know about it. GET LIVES. Do what suits you, BE different if you wanna be, or (better yet) if you ARE... but don't DECIDE you FEEL like ACTING different to make a point when YOU. ARE. POINTLESS.

Thanks to all of you for your excellent examples of what NOT to strive for, what NOT to become, and how to be an irritant and a total dick.

Knowing you all has made me feel a LOT better about the person I am, and want to become. Because, see, that’s the big difference between me and you – I want to be a better person. YOU, however, wallow and mope, bitch and moan, and/or blame others for your (deservedly) shit lives. I try to better myself everyday. I stay positive, see the best in people, take other arguments into account, and laugh at everything. Though I get uptight and stressed sometimes, I don’t use it as an excuse to be bitchy to people (right now's just for fun!!) Though I’m sometimes wrong, I admit it and apologise. Though I’m not perfect, I’m closer than you’ll get...

Yours gratefully,
Aoife

PS Thanks for reminding me how much I rock. And how important it is to keep on rocking.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Moment

I read some old emails today… I tend to save the ones I know I’ll regret sending. Reading back on them days/weeks/months/years later helps me see how far I’ve come, and how far I have yet to go. Life goal? Conquer myself; have complete control of me. And, trust me, I will.

My housemate’s downstairs in the flat below us, and I can't sleep because the music’s blaring – but it’s American Pie, a song I must admit I quite like, so I’m in my living room singing along to a party I’m not at! But, with the paper-thin walls and floors we have, it’s not the first time either. And, y'know, there’s something really soothing about it… Comforting? And annoying. Odd combination..!

I really ought to go to sleep. It’s 5am and I have a lecture at 9 that I really need to be at.

A lot of things became clear tonight. Two posts ago (“Awake”) I spoke about not coming to the conclusion I was workin’ on; seemingly heading towards… I walked home again tonight and think I’ve finally got it. I think. Though there's not much to get. And reading the old I'm-Gonna-Regret-This-Email collection helped straighten things out in my head.

It's a good idea to save emails before sending them, wait an hour, or even a day, then re-read them before actually hitting "Send." A good idea that can stop you making a big mistake, but, seeing as I'm ME I rarely stop myself, and within seconds I'm like... oops.

Right now my arm itches, my feet hurt, my hair needs a wash tomorrow, and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm always feeling overwhelmed. I've been advised by more than a few people to give up some, or even just one, of my many commitments, jobs, and stuff I'm involved in. I would never. Not now! Life is for living, and I don't care how much I exhaust myself doing it. I love everything I do, and even if I'm buckaroo and about to kick off, I want more and more! I wanna push my limits. I was idle and bored (and borING) for long enough.

At least one of my most demanding, draining "commitments" is out of the picture now... even if he'll always be right there on the edge looking in.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Playlist

(1) Songs I Love

Dreaming - Blondie
Kiss Me Deadly - Generation X
Boy in the Bubble - Paul Simon
Cain and Abel - Interference
Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something
Sic Transit Gloria, Glory Fades - Brand New
Ocean Walk - Astronautalis
Disarm - The Smashing Pumpkins
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
Vermillion Pt. 2 - Slipknot
Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
Handbags and Gladrags - Stereophonics version
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day
Gold - Interference
Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson
Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon - Urge Overkill
Irreplaceable - Beyonce
Paradise By The Dashboard Light - Meatloaf
Summer of '69 - Brian Adams
The Green Fields of France - Any version
Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harum
Jaan Pechechaan Ho - No clue, but was on the Ghostworld soundtrack
Man on the Moon - REM
How To Save A Life - The Fray
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails (much more raw, honest and true to the lyrics than Johnny Cash's version)
...And Justice for All - Metallica
Fairytale of New York - The Pogues and Kirsty McCall
It's Too Late - The Streets
Cemetary Gates - Pantera
No Leaf Clover - Metallica
America - Simon and Garfunkle
Ghetto Gospel - 2pac feat. Elton John
Bad Day - Daniel Powter


(2) Songs that strike some sorta chord with me..

Caladonia - whoever sings it!
Something Pretty - Patrick Park
The Places You Have Come To Fear the Most - Dashboard Confessional
Drops of Jupiter - Train
The Perfect Fit - The Dresden Dolls
Unpretty - TLC
The Dance - Garth Brooks
Holding My Own - The Darkness
I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance
I've Got Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks
Easier to Run - Linkin Park
Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
I Hope You Dance - Dolly Parton's version
City of Blinding Lights - U2
Vindicated - Dasboard Confessional
What I've Got - Sublime
The Piano Man - Billy Joel
Born Slippy - Underworld
Blurry - Puddle of Mudd
Desperado - The Eagles


(3) Songs That Break/Broke/Slightly Irritate My Heart

Awake - Dashboard Confessional
I Miss You - Blink 182
Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Voice of the Soul - Death
Heaven - Brian Adams
Prelude in E Minor - Frederic Chopin
Fade to Black - Metallia
A Rainy Night In Soho - The Pogues
Letters to You - Finch
Gabriel - Lamb
More Than Words - Extreme
Viva Forever - The Spice Girls
Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
Fast Cars - Tracy Chapman
Signal Fire - Snow Patrol

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Awake

I was walking home, and, odd as this may seem, when I couldn't get a taxi I assumed it was because I wasn't finished thinking.

That tends to happen to me, I'll be at a bus stop or something, thinking about something that's on my mind, and I can be there for what feels like hours for a bus that's scheduled every few minutes, until I come round to some conclusion - some genius conclusion.. Then, and only then, the bus comes.

It's almost as if I'm meant to wait.

So, it was unusual that I couldn't get a cab and, therefore, I assumed that, by the end of the walk, I'd have some sort of resolution.
But I'm home now and I haven't.

I still feel confused, although strangely light. Lighter than I've felt in a long time. So I went online. I don't know why.. Maybe cos no one in their right (or wrong) mind is still awake at this ungodly hour.. And maybe I needed something to do. I certainly can't sleep with this unfinished thought process.

I'm asking myself why. Why can't I come to that magic conclusion I usually come to.. How long do I have to stay awake for.. Or do I need to sleep on it?

Dashboard Confessional...a band I'm embarrassed to like as much as I do... have a song called Awake, which is in my head right now. That, and Drops of Jupiter. Which is equally vague and confusing. And which kept popping up today. I heard it everywhere. Why are they in my head?

Well.... I've a better chance of sleeping if I log off I suppose.