Saturday, November 15, 2008


I was walking home, and, odd as this may seem, when I couldn't get a taxi I assumed it was because I wasn't finished thinking.

That tends to happen to me, I'll be at a bus stop or something, thinking about something that's on my mind, and I can be there for what feels like hours for a bus that's scheduled every few minutes, until I come round to some conclusion - some genius conclusion.. Then, and only then, the bus comes.

It's almost as if I'm meant to wait.

So, it was unusual that I couldn't get a cab and, therefore, I assumed that, by the end of the walk, I'd have some sort of resolution.
But I'm home now and I haven't.

I still feel confused, although strangely light. Lighter than I've felt in a long time. So I went online. I don't know why.. Maybe cos no one in their right (or wrong) mind is still awake at this ungodly hour.. And maybe I needed something to do. I certainly can't sleep with this unfinished thought process.

I'm asking myself why. Why can't I come to that magic conclusion I usually come to.. How long do I have to stay awake for.. Or do I need to sleep on it?

Dashboard Confessional...a band I'm embarrassed to like as much as I do... have a song called Awake, which is in my head right now. That, and Drops of Jupiter. Which is equally vague and confusing. And which kept popping up today. I heard it everywhere. Why are they in my head?

Well.... I've a better chance of sleeping if I log off I suppose.

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