Is anyone else sick of feeling "obliged"?

Love's awful crafty....
Each time feels better than the last, maybe cos you can't quite remember exactly how the last one felt...obscured a little by all that awful sh!te you can't quite bring yerself to forget
(self-indulgent moping.. who doesn't?)
It knocks the legs out from under you and you fall right into it, face first, without a word of warning or any time to think and stop yerself.
Not even completely over the last one, and cupid just keeps on shootin....

..well! Anyway!

Sex sucks.
Why is it that once a girl's lost her virginity, anything goes? Even those who wait, wanting their first time to be "special"... waiting till they're "ready".... Even they seem to just throw threir morals out the window and their legs in the air because, for some mad reason, once the first time's out of the way - anything goes!

The next guy doesn't have to wait at all. Why? Why is it only the first time that it "matters"..? Is it that we suddenly feel it's not the big deal we thought it was? It IS a big deal! WHY should sex depreciate in value and importance after the first pop?

Stupid.

As well as that, too much sex is bad for a relationship... It doesn't deepen the bond, make you feel closer to the person... Except temporarily! And that's just biology, baby...
Unless you've already reached a certain level without it, you'll get a nasty shock one day when it wears off... And you're confused and utterly thrown by the fact that your "love's blown cold". Nuh uh. Hormones have just stopped buzzin.

Every time should be as special as the first. I'm sick of that grimey, cringe-inducing feeling when you think back on what it was like being "with" your ex. I'm sick of relationships falling to pieces because sex, or something related to it, takes up all the time you have together. I'm sick of feeling there's a pressure, an obligation almost...just 'cos it's "the done thing" now in this sex and the city generation...
Does anyone else feel that way? If you're going out with someone, you will be having sex. Period. It's accepted, exPECTed, taken for granted... It's conidered WEIRD if you AREN'T doing it!
Should it be?? I think it's just a smidge bizarre to be honest.. cop on, girls..

So....yeah. As of now I - personally - am going on a Sex Diet. And a Love Diet, as everything's still a little raw. I'm just gonna take a little big break from all this...and get my head straight.

Can I be forgiven for things I don't know I did?

get it? of course you do.

three seperate conversations, three seperate incidences, all in one day, were enough to set me thinking about how little people understand of each other.

even the closest friends seem startlingly clueless of one another sometimes.

true empathy is near impossible. visualising yourself in someone else's shoes can only get you so far. even the most compassionate of people sometimes just.. don't.. get it..

not turning up at someone's birthday party mightn't seem a big deal to you, you did your best, and you got them a present anyway, right?

the birthday-boy or girl, however, may have gladly gone without a present. maybe all they wanted was for you to turn up. or make a real effort to.

or to spend some time with them. and they're now left bitterly disappointed.

but can they point it out to you?

no.

the reaction would of course be, "what's the big deal?" god, what's HER problem! etc...

because in their mind, they've done nothing wrong. they did their best.

yet you can't help wondering...WAS it their best? it certainly seemed like they could've done more...

none of this is explained to each other untill one person's anger gets the better of them.

and of course, when that happens, no one will be prepared to listen to the other - to make the effort to understand while being shouted at is laughable.

it's sad that we are totally ignorant of the workings of even our closest friends' minds.

it's crazy how far we can miss the point by.

i wonder how many things there are that i may never be forgiven for, that i never knew i did.

people see the world in such strikingly different ways... ways that make total sense to them, and little to someone else.

i've seen people fall out for "no good reason"

but in their minds, there's always a reason. perhaps some small, stupid thing that got under their skin, and out of control..

it's so easy to get annoyed at someone for some horrible thing they've done to you. they may not be aware of it in the slightest. they may see you as totally unreasonable in their inability to see where you're coming from...

but if it's so obvious to you, you expect it to be to them (it MUST be!) ..and are annoyed.

sad thing about it; it never is.

try not to be too harsh on people who p!ss you off out of innocent ignorance. i've lost friends that way, and even if you get a "what's the big deal"-style reply, maybe that's an opportunity you can take to TELL them what it is. to get through to them.

maybe they'll STILL never "get it". but at least you'll have tried, and that's better than holding something against them that they're totally unaware of.

things left unresolved don't go away..and can accumulate to poison your mind against a person.

no one's perfect. people aren't mind readers.

confrontation mightn't be successful, or fun, but it's always better to be open that to be quietly bitter... which tends to pile up and, in the end, make you very, very irrational.

don't expect people to read your mind. if they don't seem to understand where yer coming from, try tellin'm.

oh yeah, by the way, people will always let you down. i almost expect it at this stage.

it's hard enough getting your own life in order...so of course we do sometimes neglect others, unintentionally.

maybe their expectations of us are too high. maybe their dependence on us too high.

whatever it is...it happens. and always will happen. and sucks. but it's part of life.

lean on your friends, but depend on yourself. be honest with your friends, but trust yourself.

and be there for your friends, but don't forget yourself.
**bad, old posts from 03ish, imported from myspace blog**