New, and altogether different

Broke. Scraping by. Over-worked. Stressed. Sick. Chain-smoking. Living on caffeine and 20min naps in the (less interesting) lectures..... Some of the many things I DON'T miss about being a student.
(well, the naps were pretty nice, actually...)


And yet, this day two weeks, that's exactly what I'll be once again.


One of my old DIT lecturers popped into my shop the other day, picking up a repair for his wife, and smilingly said, "Studentdom is wasted on the students. You'll appreciate college so much more this time."


Hope so.


The course I'm doing is open to all sorts: geeks who fell into jobs and finally want formal qualifications; geeks who've been fiddling with their own computers for years and finally decided to study IT formally; and geeks who were a little misguided on their choice of undergrad (i.e. me) and want a chance to ctrl+y the whole college thing... Like any postgrad, and unlike an undergrad, we're all going to be at different ages, stages, levels of experience...


I just hope I'm not gonna be the dunce in the corner! Much as I've always been interested in computers and all that, tbh I'd be exaggerating to even call it a hobby. Hell, since teaching myself quick, proper typing as a kid, and then basic html in my pree-teens (to build fansites for pokemon, etc, that never made it online..!), I haven't done a damn thing. That's over a decade. My myspace page, a brilliant practice-ground, has been gathering dust for what feels like millennia, and this blog? Well. You can see how often I update the content - let alone the decorative script. Tech-Aoife is someone I haven't seen in a LONG time. She's more than just rusty, she's practically fossilised.


So, I'm worried I'm too out of touch. Too far behind. I don't want to be slower than the others. I don't want to be blatantly struggling. I'm usually "the weird, slightly cold-at-first, nerdy girl"; I don't want to be "the weird, totally in-over-her-head, ditzy girl". Christ. Not in a classroom full of people who could've fuckin' written the course itself (and just need the cert. to prove it...) I feel inferior, hugely inferior, to people I haven't even met yet.


This is stupid.
What am I on about?
Like everything new, this is daunting. Even... scary. But I pick things up quickly enough, I'm interested (I must be - I chose it over every other course i could find - not for the title, but for the modules themselves), and being interested means I'll be at an advantage straight away. It's something I've always been interested in, and faffing around with journalism for four years doesn't make me an airy-fairy arty type who won't be able to grasp the tough stuff. On the contrary, I'll be shorthanding my notes and kicking ass with my essays and finding the theory-side a piece of cake, leaving more time to study and absorb the more alien info. Yeah!


It'll be fine.
*breathe*
Whew...

All I can do is my best. And it'll be grand. (So long as the money doesn't run out...) Roll on studentdom, brokedom, over-workedom, stressdom, (and all the other doms)... Things have been static, stagnant, for too long. At least this is a change. And, whether change is good or bad... at least it's something.

The Days of Dial-up

I’m having flashbacks. My new meteor broadband plugin USB yokey is sheer shite. Reminiscent of dial-up frustrations. It’s bullshit, like. What should have taken no time at all (uploading pics to FB and finding a map to where I need to be tomorrow) has taken hours. Balls to this.

Dial-up… god wasn’t it awful? The internet was a place for those with plenty of patience, and a high threshold for annoyance and despair. Clicking the same link 50 times, knowing it would only slow things further, but doing it anyway…. to SPITE it.

Back then, ‘though, I practically lived online. Insane. Back when I was a gamer too, and had taught myself a little html, and knew all the lingo… I fit in quite nicely in the e-world. I was a “reg” in several rooms across the net... a triumph, in my young, lonely eyes. I was even subject to (what I now suspect was) "grooming" (but was far too shy for it to ever have worked - haha.)

Then I suddenly got a life (IRL) and all changed.

Now, even with Twittering, FB and blogging sparsely… it’s NOTHING to the hours, days, months I accumulated in various chatrooms, online forums, etc. Now I almost feel like a tourist or something. I’m only ever just passing through. The only on-line communities I’m part of are made up of real-life communities and friends (apart from blogging, which I really, really wish I had more time to give to - but I don't at the moment. Must make more time...)

And a part of me might miss those square-eyed sessions, telling strangers what I could tell no one else and knowing it’d never matter… There's something lovely about that. But...

Me and the net have grown apart. Gone our separate ways. And, like with many old, faded friendships; I don’t recognise it anymore. We still talk, but… well, y’know.
I suppose, this, where I am now, is the real triumph.

Judge this.

No weekend plans so far. Loads of work to get done, but things are going very well! Baffled by the amount I’ve done this week. Really tired. But it’s cool. Stuff’s coming together.

Sex and the City was just on. Y’know, it’s odd – I watch it all the time, yet I really don’t like anything about it, and roll my eyes at people who say it's their fave show. Though, it's one of mine!! Silly, I know... It’s had a funny effect… and a lot of it’s crap… and what I hate is that it’s the kind of crap people buy into… It's almost like a religion for some, and otherwise-smart girls take it too seriously. Or, maybe they don't - I'm referring to people I only half-know, so, how should I know? Though, I s’pose it’s still.. entertaining… And I like the episode structure…

There was a particularly good line – are we too quick to judge judging? Talking about how being judgemental is considered a bad thing. For the most part, yes, open-mindedness all the way!! But, on the other hand… Some people are just ridiculous. Sometimes judgement is good. Reminds me of the whole PCness rampage nuisance issue… Anyway… whatever.

So there’s the update. But tonight I have the night off – and I am absolutely NOT going out, so hello! Back to my beautiful, sorely-missed blog! If I could hug you, I would. (oh, feck it, internet actions don’t have to make sense…) *hugs!!*

Tonight’s topic – my well-concealed nerdiness.

On Valentine’s day (a day which I never aknowledge but, for some reason, tends to always be memorable despite my best efforts) I spent the morning sorting through family crap (headache, headache, headache and a long story for another day and a less public forum…) And – though I wasn’t in the mood – I decided I’d go up the road where the Skycon (Skynet convention thingie) dudes were having a few brews that night. It was the last night, I’d missed all the lectures, talks, and funzies, and most of the con-goers were a little droopy-lookin after so many nights in a row on the lash… But I had a really freaking good time!

I met my hero - and I still can’t believe it. Even though I didn’t get an autograph, OR a personalised cartoon (damn you bastards who did!!), OR much time with him (damn Americans and their lack of drinking stamina – he was “tired” and had an “early flight” – he was gone within an hour of me arriving!! I know it was late, but, Boo! By the way, I was indeed as dumbstruck and retarded-acting as I knew I would be. Which sucks. ‘Cos he was DAMN cute! I think that made it even MORE nerve-wracking… When nervous around a person, I look and talk to everyone BUT them… so… not exactly the best tactic…!) – it was still cool! He was tired, but still interesting to chat to (the odd time I braved a brief word..!) Rgh. Anyway…*

But that wasn’t even the highlight of the night. Bizarre as this may sound (actually, it doesn’t really…) the highlight was chatting to my fun, semi-nerdy buddies from school who I never get to see anymore. I had no idea how much I missed that crap! Also, that tall cool English guy Jeff with his little robots – awesome and very, very interesting guy. But, my school buddies, two of whom read this so not gonna say anything (lol – freaked out? You should be :P) except that it was awesome spending time with’m… talking shite… Having a few drinks… I encountered only one un-cool person, but I don’t think they meant to come across as narrow-eyed-ly judgy and unfriendly…

Shite-talk was all it was… but the difference is, it’s fascinating shite-talk! Not yer run-of-the-mill stuff!

Like Hugh and his plans for building a working Delorean. L…M…A…O… I mean, seriously! I was enthralled! Fire-tyre-tracks, dry-ice to come out of the doors… he even thought about how best to achieve the sound effects! The only thing it WON’T do is…well… travel through time… But, as we all know, that was only ever a minor feature of the Delorean……*cough*

You don’t GET that quality of shite-talk or mad idea-throwing with non-nerds. And I’m sick of hiding my nerdish ways. We’re just a more interesting people!

There was a time where I had memorised the names of almost every single dinosaur there ever was… the era they lived in… and could draw’m fairly accurately from memory… It’s just the major ones that I can still remember, though…

I am a Pokémon master. Painstakingly trained my boys to level 100! And they. Are. Unstoppable. Come and have a go if ya think yer ‘ard enuff! (And if you can manage to find your Gameboy colour in the attic)

I used to make up my own Pokémon. Have several full copybooks of detailed designs and stats info… I submitted one to a Nintendo Mag comp. I didn’t win, some rubbish Loch Ness Monster-rip-off did and – when Gold and Silver were released, with a character that was TOO similar to my concept – I was CONVINCED they’d sent it off to Tajiri behind my back along with the other great ideas that never made it into the mag… Bastards!

((Quickly done on paint: I know they don't LOOK alike, but I SWEAR I had the idea for a water-electric Pokémon before ANYONE else. And look at the hideous shitty version they DID come up with - wouldn't my little beauty have made a much better edition to Gold and Silver?))


What else...
I was a regular in a chatroom; respected and feared by n00bs. And any chatroomers here will know how much time you gotta put in to be a known "reg". I knew all the lingo, and knew the URL by heart! I can still recite it! It's about 80characters long.

I’ve played FF7 through to the end around 10 times. But, please, who hasn’t?

Same goes with Ocarina of Time.

And the original MGS.

I LOVED Advent Children. My God. Nostalgia overload.

I was always Tails.

I LOVED the Sonic cartoons. Especially the more grown-up with the angrier theme-tune! “Soniiic… he can really move! Soniiic… he’s got an AAH-ti-tuuuude…. Soniic…. He’s the fastest thing AH-LIIIIIVE!!”

I cannot get up early. Never ever could… EXCEPT… at 7am for Power Rangers before school. Every day. (Back when it was at it's peak, that is. Lost interest when it became Super-turbo-hyper-mega-cool-awesome-wanker-asteroid-power-ninja-turtle Rangers, or whatever)

I taught myself HTML (hey, I know, it’s piss-easy as languages go, but bear in mind that, back then, there was no myspace and html was considered VERY cool)

I programmed a (shitty) clock once on a computer-summer-camp-course-thingie. Niall, what the hell was the course called?

I liked Monty Python before any of my friends. I watched it with my dad. I’d also watch Star Trek with him. He introduced me to Star Wars. My brother took a while to warm to it: but I was immediately mesmerised. He started reading the Hobbit to me when I was about 6 or 7. Maybe younger… And then progressed to the Lord of the Rings. He was so good – reading every night for hours! Such diligence too!

I remember once I fell asleep, and asked, “Could you go back to that bit with ((whatever it was))..? Sorry, but that’s the last thing I remember.”
Dad: “…That was 3 chapters ago.”

But he read it again! We used to argue too. And there’s one argument we’ve never finished – to this day – about the possibility of time-travel (NOT getting into it today…) I miss those arguments.

I guess he could be blamed for my nerdiness. Along with my green eyes. You rock dad!! (Though, could’ve done without the rubbish eyesight… they’re pretty, but don’t work good!)

Anyway; judging judgement. I judge people who judge people. I am judged, every day, for having bottle-blonde hair, and acting like a ditz, and various other reasons. I'm sick of the surprise on peoples' faces when it dawns on them that, yes, there IS something going on in my pretty little head. But I like it too. It gives me a smug sort of satisfaction. When a person makes an assumption about me, or are condescending towards me, I smile to myself and think about how much smarter than them I clearly am, and how much of a dense moron they must be.

Ha. Lousy!

*in-post promos of other posts by me are bad enough, but two of the same one? Sorry. I'm not a complete whore - I just like the wikipedia-clicky-word feeling it gives to posts (and it saves me re-explaining stuff I'm referring to)

I LOVE YOU!

I can't think of one celebrity, politician, anyone, who I'd be bowled over by seeing. I don't think I'd ever be starstruck by anyone - they're just people, right?

The one exception? The xkcd guy! (and also Jeff Goldblum, perhaps).
I love Him(capital H) - and I would be dumbstruck.

After a friend introduced me to the site, I found I could spend up to an hour at a time clicking on "random" and ROTFLMFAO-ing at the genius gems of wonderful wry brilliance that would appear on my humble screen.

I then took to saving all the cartoons that made me laugh the most. Bad idea. At this stage I've saved so many that I think my computer's running slower because of it.

Here are some of my current faves (He doesn't mind them being used on blogs - or in non-profit publications. Saintly!):













This blog post is more for me than for you readers - I get to look at it every time I log in to blogger!! :D

Also, I know some are fuzzy - but it's the best I could do and, trust me, they're worth the eye-strain!

Go to xkcd.com and love it. Go! Now!

Fun new group I found...

The bloggers with the most to say!

Impartial Internet (~Rant~)

*bad, old posts from 03ish, imported from myspace blog*

those personality quiz things are so addictive!

i've a huge project due waaay too soon and whenever i get on the laptop to get somethin done, i end up tickin boxes to find out What's My Inner Hair Colour or What Breed of Dog I Am

it's mad!

I'M mad. it just takes so little effort and passes time, whenever i'm too tired from the night before to feel like doin much. except procrastinate the hours away....

i dunno what makes them so appealing to people. maybe it's that, if you get a complimentary/funny result, you can post it somewhere - letting people know yer great! without feelin like yer blabbing? or without seemin up yer own arse.

well that's not my reason. of course. *cough* nah seriously though, some results aren't exactly stuff i'd broacast to make myself look good.. i just think they're a laugh! they're pointless, mindless entertainment. for when there's nothing on tv.

and i like answering the questions more than i do getting the results. they're questions about yourself people never ask - so you never get to think about. after a good long, pointless, hour-consuming quiz, i always feel a little more enlightened as to what exactly goes on in my head. a step closer to deciphering SOME bit of sense from the mess of thoughts, all clamouring and tryin to out-shout each other.

the questions may be simple, but make you think. some quizzes are a laugh, but some can make you look at yourself. and if you get a result ya don't like, maybe you needed to hear it.

friends make allowances, and don't always tell you "you're a fucking moron" when you ARE. and when you need to hear it. so often can't be relied on. and non-friends have a tendency to say that sh!t ANYWAY so can't be relied on either really.

but when it's your own honest, private answers, and a faceless, unbiased third party giving it's opinion, it can be really helpfull.

really these quizzes are a watered-down version or the exact reason i love the internet. you can get an outside, detached person's point of view on something and that's really helped me a lot.

be it some arbitrary randomer from a chatroom, fat 30 year old internet-addicts on msn, or bitter middle-aged women on advice forums who claim to have "seen it all"... it's always interesting to get the point of view of someone who hasn't a clue what they're talking about, either to show you what NOT to do, or strengthen your hunch by forcing you to defend it.

or, the odd time, you'll find some real pearls of windom out there..cos whatever your dilemma...when you've a wire connecting you to millions of people all over the world...someone's "bin there". NO situation's as unique as ya first think.

hey look! i made a point!
better quit qhile i'm ahead.
toodles!