You're so vain......

I love makeup. I love experimenting with colours and shades and designs. I love cutting my own hair. I love getting dressed up. I find NOTHING more relaxing or soothing than sitting in front of a mirror and poking and prodding at myself. I could spend hours at it! Just like I’ve often spent hours drawing!

I’m not vain. I suppose I’m like a cat… or a bird or something; I preen when I’m bored! It’s not the same as vanity because it’s not that I’m obsessive about how I look; I don’t discreetly check myself out in darkened shop windows to admire myself! No! To me makeup's like a hobby. It’s listed in my “Interests” and if you click you’ll notice I’m not the only one. It’s relaxing and fun and I’d even go as far as to call it a type of art.

The wikipedia article on body modification lists makeup along with things like ear piercing, tongue splitting(yuck), tattooing, scarification, foot-binding, tooth filling, skin removal, implantations, branding and corsetry… Isn’t that strange? Read the article – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_modification – I actually couldn’t get over how they can put something like Neck-Stretching in the same category as fake tan! Essentially, they are all just different ways of messing with how you look.

And think about it – it’s makeup ARTIST, tattoo ARTIST – it’s art and it’s just like any form of self expression. That’s what I see makeup as anyway... A little flick of eyeliner and carefully blended colours - without it I don't feel like ME. Just like my mole or my tattoo - the way I do my make-up's another thing that makes me different. I don't feel confident without it either. It's no harm and it's an insecurity I'll probably grow out of.

People have said, oh but that's the real you! Don't cover it up! ... Well, feck that! It doesn't FEEL like the real me. I've had various skin conditions and used aaaall sorts of chemicals on it over the years and it's left my skin's pigmentation looking a little funny. I don't think that's "the real me". It's not what I want people to see when they look at me. If I look good, I feel good. And when ya feel more comfortable it's easier to be yourself, right?

I dunno, as usual I’m rambling a bit... I just, y'know, I HATE the word "vain". I hate the idea of it. I hate that it’s a criticism! It shouldn’t be! Yes, of course it’s bad to be preoccupied with oneself, but what’s wrong with a little extra self confidence? Everyone could use it. And everyone SHOULD love themselves and look after themselves. Their health, their mind, their appearance... How can you be happy if you don't love yourself?

Is it vain to have pride in how you look? Is it vain to KNOW when you look well; to agree with a compliment? Why shrug it off or get uncomfortable - don't argue with compliments! Say thank you!!!

Is it vain to spend hours – and hundreds of euro – on how you look?
Well, that’s what this guy did. Is this vanity?!

Mount first, ask questions later!

I read this article a few weeks ago....
think it was from Time magazine's archives - not sure. anyway, it said something like - the only reason man invented language was so that he could complain!

we'd be so much better off without language. it does nothing for us but complicate things!

once language started to develop, people complained, and could have their opinions heard - and people listened, and rules were made...
rules that decided what was "bad" and "good" with complicated reasons as to why.

we all have this belief that we as humans are so much better than animals - but isn't life so much simpler for them?? why d'ya think relationships are so much more confusing for us than for animals? (mount first, ask questions later! or not at all!)
it's because of all the talking!! what good does all that talking do when the only reason for relationships or anything else is survival of the species. sorry to burst people's bubbles, but belief in "soul mates", like most beliefs, are just side-effects of the invention of language....... as we all know people do have a tendency to talk crap. i think that tendency's probably been there since the dawn of time..

have you ever noticed how much easier it is to show you're happy (smile) than to show you're sad?
or angry? it's never as simple as making a face - you still DO pull a face, but only so you can get people's attention, and can then explain yourself. how you feel. what's troubling you. what's on your mind.

i was talking to this guy who hasn't the best English, and it was so easy to talk to him and get on with him! i mean, i found myself having to talk slower, and think more about what i was saying in order to say things in the simplest way. i found i felt better about what i was saying. i was thinking way clearer since i had to cut out the crap. i realised how needless all the other words and embellishments really are...
no one cares if you're deep or aloof or a mystery wrapped in an enigma or whatever stupid angst-ridden image you're tryin to perpetuate for yourself to seem more interesting...it all comes down to attraction. you can be the most DULL person in the world and someone can fall for you. not because you're full of enough hot air to fly a blimp, but because it doesn't MATTER what you say or think or whatever. no one will care as much as you wish they would. many people like the sound of their own voice and may have loads to say, but only a TINY % of it is even WORTH saying, if you think about it...
opinions and personalities are temporary, fickle, irrational and (for lack of a better word) random!

Legalise it?

(Journo Assignment, Feb 26th 07 - interviewed randomers in Dublin City)

Gay Byrne's statement to Eamonn Dunphy last weekend has managed to open a controversial, although vital, discussion about the possibility of legalising certain drugs. The media is lapping it up, thrilled to report such a controversy.


The whole furore is reminiscent of Gaybo's younger, crazier days - constantly pushing for discussion of issues which people were reluctant to hear about. After all, "There was no sex in Ireland before the Late Late Show!"


The time has come for a proper debate and for the subject's taboo to be lifted. Gay's point that the current legislation against drugs has "demonstrably failed" is a reasonable one, but is legalisation really the way to go?


In a Vox Pop around Dublin's city streets, responses were varied. Some were vehemently against legalisation, answering with a definite and resounding "No!" Others were very much in favour of it, thinking it would do wonders for crime. A Mr. Mc Donnel (28) remarked that "You wouldn't have people going out robbing houses!" He also believed muggings and violent crimes would be hugely reduced.


According to Mr. Mc Donnel, Ireland would simply turn into another Holland , improving tourism for (perhaps) all the wrong reasons.


An elderly couple chorused sagely that "It won't stop, it'll never stop", adding that "drug barons will still reign" even if some or all drugs were made legal. According to them, it would reverse all the good efforts made to wean people off drugs (with Methadone Clinics etc)


"Look at Holland, it's pretty mellow, but in Ireland we're just not used to it" said Shamlan (18), a student of RCSI, who made the point that a responsible drug culture wouldn't be able to develop "all of a sudden". It is certainly possible that it would make the crime situation a lot worse, with people simply taking advantage of any new leniency.


Gay was not specific as to whether he felt some or all drugs should be legalised, but a surprising amount of people interviewed were in favour of Cannabis's legalisation, even those totally opposed to other drugs.


Recent statistics show that close to 50% of people between the ages of 12-17 have used Cannabis – and that's just those who admit it! The fact is that drugs are readily available in Ireland to anyone who wants them, and the Drugs Squad estimate that they only intercept around 10% of all drug imports.


Two Gardaí on patrol in St. Steven's Green said they'd be delighted if softer drugs were legalised. "It would get the junkies out of here anyway, because they could go home to do it!" I laughed an agreement, having often noticed huddles of suspiciously giddy teenagers hidden among the trees, shrouded in smoke.


Cannabis (aka Marijuana, Weed, Grass, Herb, Hash, Dope, Hemp, Pot…) is known to have medicinal uses. It can, for example, be used to ease a terminally ill patient's pain. Last January a British couple and one other person were arrested and given 9-month suspended sentences for selling cannabis-laced chocolate bars to multiple sclerosis sufferers.


They reportedly told police they made the "Canna-Biz" bars (containing around 3.5 grams of the substance) in their kitchen and mailed them out on request. They insisted the product was only available to MS sufferers who provided a medical note confirming their condition .

B. Shorthall (50), who admitted that he himself used to smoke Cannabis and subsequently dabbled in many other drugs, said this progression was simply a personal choice. He denounced the common belief that Cannabis is a "Gateway Drug".

He said he knows many people who have been "smokers" all their lives and have never seen the need to try any "harder" drugs. In fact, in his opinion, if soft drugs such as Cannabis were legal, it would mean that users would not have the contact with dealers they do now - lessening the temptation to experiment with "harder stuff" down the line.


"I don't think (Cannabis) is necessarily harmfull" he said. A common view seems to be that the fact "weed" is illegal, while alcohol flows freely, is an absurd double-standard. Alcohol makes a person behave violently, while smoking has a much more placating effect. Also, alcohol is just as damaging to a person's mental and physical health – if not more so.

Mr. Shotrhall insisted that Cannabis's legalisation would be greatly beneficial to making "smoking" safer, as it would bring about quality control. One of the greatest dangers to users of "grass" is that it can often be laced with PolyChlorinated Biphenyl (PCB), a highly dangerous chemical also known as "Angeldust".


When asked if he thought there was any truth in the supposed link between Cannabis usage and schizophrenia, he shook his head, saying, "of course it is mentally detrimental if a person were to smoke it every single day... it certainly dulls the brain... and can make a person lose perspective... but posession definitely shouldn't be a criminal offence."


"It should be taken the way someone would take a glass of wine with a meal" he said.

*class assignment - enjoyed this one*

Windsock

Fixed to her pike, plain pairless sock,
Can fill, inflate and fly.
Can flutter, dance, can live a while,
Can stretch and touch the sky

But at a whim, such highs'n'lows,
Outside all her control,
Unpredictable! A sudden shift
And she will faint and fall

And limply hang, a crumpled piteous cloth,
And, patiently,
Will wait and pray for the next gust
To toss her violently.

And flap, so stretched and straining,
Feeling at last alive...
Worth the harsh wind's tearing
To fill, inflate, and fly.


Written for school mag competition aaaages ago... Just foung it there...
Oh, If you're wondering, I didn't win.
(Everyone said it should have, though! *gloat*)

Is anyone else sick of feeling "obliged"?

Love's awful crafty....
Each time feels better than the last, maybe cos you can't quite remember exactly how the last one felt...obscured a little by all that awful sh!te you can't quite bring yerself to forget
(self-indulgent moping.. who doesn't?)
It knocks the legs out from under you and you fall right into it, face first, without a word of warning or any time to think and stop yerself.
Not even completely over the last one, and cupid just keeps on shootin....

..well! Anyway!

Sex sucks.
Why is it that once a girl's lost her virginity, anything goes? Even those who wait, wanting their first time to be "special"... waiting till they're "ready".... Even they seem to just throw threir morals out the window and their legs in the air because, for some mad reason, once the first time's out of the way - anything goes!

The next guy doesn't have to wait at all. Why? Why is it only the first time that it "matters"..? Is it that we suddenly feel it's not the big deal we thought it was? It IS a big deal! WHY should sex depreciate in value and importance after the first pop?

Stupid.

As well as that, too much sex is bad for a relationship... It doesn't deepen the bond, make you feel closer to the person... Except temporarily! And that's just biology, baby...
Unless you've already reached a certain level without it, you'll get a nasty shock one day when it wears off... And you're confused and utterly thrown by the fact that your "love's blown cold". Nuh uh. Hormones have just stopped buzzin.

Every time should be as special as the first. I'm sick of that grimey, cringe-inducing feeling when you think back on what it was like being "with" your ex. I'm sick of relationships falling to pieces because sex, or something related to it, takes up all the time you have together. I'm sick of feeling there's a pressure, an obligation almost...just 'cos it's "the done thing" now in this sex and the city generation...
Does anyone else feel that way? If you're going out with someone, you will be having sex. Period. It's accepted, exPECTed, taken for granted... It's conidered WEIRD if you AREN'T doing it!
Should it be?? I think it's just a smidge bizarre to be honest.. cop on, girls..

So....yeah. As of now I - personally - am going on a Sex Diet. And a Love Diet, as everything's still a little raw. I'm just gonna take a little big break from all this...and get my head straight.

Can I be forgiven for things I don't know I did?

get it? of course you do.

three seperate conversations, three seperate incidences, all in one day, were enough to set me thinking about how little people understand of each other.

even the closest friends seem startlingly clueless of one another sometimes.

true empathy is near impossible. visualising yourself in someone else's shoes can only get you so far. even the most compassionate of people sometimes just.. don't.. get it..

not turning up at someone's birthday party mightn't seem a big deal to you, you did your best, and you got them a present anyway, right?

the birthday-boy or girl, however, may have gladly gone without a present. maybe all they wanted was for you to turn up. or make a real effort to.

or to spend some time with them. and they're now left bitterly disappointed.

but can they point it out to you?

no.

the reaction would of course be, "what's the big deal?" god, what's HER problem! etc...

because in their mind, they've done nothing wrong. they did their best.

yet you can't help wondering...WAS it their best? it certainly seemed like they could've done more...

none of this is explained to each other untill one person's anger gets the better of them.

and of course, when that happens, no one will be prepared to listen to the other - to make the effort to understand while being shouted at is laughable.

it's sad that we are totally ignorant of the workings of even our closest friends' minds.

it's crazy how far we can miss the point by.

i wonder how many things there are that i may never be forgiven for, that i never knew i did.

people see the world in such strikingly different ways... ways that make total sense to them, and little to someone else.

i've seen people fall out for "no good reason"

but in their minds, there's always a reason. perhaps some small, stupid thing that got under their skin, and out of control..

it's so easy to get annoyed at someone for some horrible thing they've done to you. they may not be aware of it in the slightest. they may see you as totally unreasonable in their inability to see where you're coming from...

but if it's so obvious to you, you expect it to be to them (it MUST be!) ..and are annoyed.

sad thing about it; it never is.

try not to be too harsh on people who p!ss you off out of innocent ignorance. i've lost friends that way, and even if you get a "what's the big deal"-style reply, maybe that's an opportunity you can take to TELL them what it is. to get through to them.

maybe they'll STILL never "get it". but at least you'll have tried, and that's better than holding something against them that they're totally unaware of.

things left unresolved don't go away..and can accumulate to poison your mind against a person.

no one's perfect. people aren't mind readers.

confrontation mightn't be successful, or fun, but it's always better to be open that to be quietly bitter... which tends to pile up and, in the end, make you very, very irrational.

don't expect people to read your mind. if they don't seem to understand where yer coming from, try tellin'm.

oh yeah, by the way, people will always let you down. i almost expect it at this stage.

it's hard enough getting your own life in order...so of course we do sometimes neglect others, unintentionally.

maybe their expectations of us are too high. maybe their dependence on us too high.

whatever it is...it happens. and always will happen. and sucks. but it's part of life.

lean on your friends, but depend on yourself. be honest with your friends, but trust yourself.

and be there for your friends, but don't forget yourself.
**bad, old posts from 03ish, imported from myspace blog**

"clean violence"

*class assignment*
Of the 12,147 calls made to the Women's Aid National Helpline in 2004, 33% were related to physical violence and 13% to sexual abuse. Interestingly, however, 44% of the calls related to emotional abuse. This is a startling statistic that brings to mind one of Women's Aid's slogans: "You don't need a bruise to be abused."

Emotionally abusive relationships are widespread in marriages, families and the workplace. The subtle, insidious relationship that "emotional abusers" and their "victims" evolve is extremely damaging and near impossible to prove.

The abuse often builds over a long period of time until it becomes so unbearable that victims lash out in frustration and anger, only to appear unstable and aggressive themselves. Abusers systematically "destabilize" and confuse their victims (with irrational, threatening behaviour that preys on the victims' fears and self-doubts), to isolate and control them and ultimately destroy their identity.

For outside observers (friends and family) recognising this "clean violence" is near impossible. Emotional abusers are often sufferers of the little-recognised, covert disorder; Narcissism.

Narcissists are relentless "predators", incapable of compassion or empathy. They will always blame the victim and never see their actions as wrong. They are also careful not to reveal themselves to anyone else, showing only the false, winning persona (that hooked you) to the rest of the world.

Manipulation is second nature and it's common that they may even turn those closest to the victim against them. Abusers will slowly and methodically erode your sense of self. Victims can find no explanation for their situation or their behaviour, and blame themselves.

Sufferers are advised to get support and leave the relationship if personal, or take legal action if it is professional. This is not easy to execute in every case as emotional abuse is so hard to detect and prove – even the victim finds it hard to grasp what is happening; or believe it.

The International 16 Days of Action Opposing Violence Against Women campaign (November 25 th - December 10th), now in it's 16th year, has grown to have over 2000 organisations participating worldwide since it began in November 1991.

It addresses the problem of abuse against women, and brings about a great surge in awareness. Stressing statistics that are impossible to ignore (e.g. 18% (1 in 5) of Irish women surveyed who had been involved in intimate relationships with men, had been abused by a current or former partner, and international statistics aren't much better).

Woman's Aid receive many requests for local and national radio interviews during the campaign every year. These, along with TV appearances and media events (such as 5 women in wedding dresses who stood outside the Dáil last year to highlight the "1 in 5" statistic) create a huge surge in awareness, and, according to Margaret Martin, Director of Women's Aid; "Our Helpline literally starts to hop."

"The most worrying thing is still the 2 in every 5 calls we are unable to answer. This is increasing year on year," she says. How likely is it that women, perhaps frightened or hesitant to call, will ever ring back if they get no answer? Organisations such as these need more funding, and more must be established or existing ones must expand their horizons.

"On average a woman will be assaulted by her partner or ex-partner 35 times before reporting it to the police." How much less likely a sufferer of emotional abuse would be to report their plight when it is near impossible to recognise; when so few people have even heard of it; when so many sufferers blame themselves?

Abuse in its many forms is a widespread problem, and increased awareness of emotional abuse would protect hundreds of people from severe emotional damage and possible breakdowns. The anguished confusion and self doubt could be avoided, and ties cut before the situation became worse.

"Last year a woman rang our Helpline after I was on the Afternoon Show on RTE to say she was abused for 30 years but never spoke to anyone about it until then."

Siobhan Kavanagh, Co-ordinator of Open Door Network, Kerry (one of the many national supporters of the 16 Days campaign) says "In our work, we see awareness as the first step towards change". Such an attitude would be hugely beneficial to dealing with the problem of emotional abuse, too.

( A very interesting book: http://www.amazon.com/Stalking-Soul-Emotional-Erosion-Identity/dp/1885586531 )

An t Oireachtas i nDoire

7ú Samhain
An t Oireachtas i nDoire

Táim cinnte go raibh gach cuairteoir a bhí ag Oireachtas na Samhna i nDoire Colmcille seachtaine seo chaite tuirseach traochta tnáite ina dhiaidh. Cé go raibh a lán imeachtaí iontacha ag siúl i rith an lae ón 2-5 Samhain, bhí an chraic is mó ag an Oireachtas le fáil ag Club na Féile in Óstán na Cathrach. Pé áit sa chathair a raibh na cuairteoirí don Oireachtas ag taiscéal i rith an lae, tháinig siad le chéile um thráthnóna anseo.

Oíche i ndiaidh oíche bhí an áit dubh leis na mílte daoine idir an óg agus aosta - múinteoirí agus daltaí, léiritheoirí agus mic léinn, páistí, seandaoine, gaeilgeoirí, turasóirí agus foirne ceamara - lean siad go léir ar aghaidh ag ól, ag canadh agus ag damhsa go dtí timpeall a trí ar maidin gach lá, agus iad go léir ag déanamh fíoriarracht an Ghaeilge a bhí acu a labhairt.

D'osclóifear an Féile go hoifigúil le ceolchoirm iontach tráthnóna Dé Céadaoin. Cuirfear i láthair é mar cabaret le hoidí agus mic léinn ó Chlár Oideachais Ealaíne Bhláthanna. Bhí amclár an tOireachtas lán le himeachtaí de gach saghas - sport, damhsa, ealaíon, litríocht, na meáin cumarsáide, ceol, cultúr - go dtí an lá deireanach. Oíche Dé Domhnach bhí Aifreann an Oireachtais ar maidin, Comórtas Iománaíochta na gClubanna sa meánlae agus Seirbhís Eacúiméineach um thráthnóna. Chríochnaigh an féile le tradisiúntas, agus meas do stair ár gcúltúr agus a tslí a mbíonn sé fite fuaite lenár gcreideamh.
Bhí An tOireachtas ar siúl i nDoire don chéad uair riamh ó bunaíodh an fhéile in 1897. Bhí fáilte roimh gach duine i rith an Oireachtais, ar aon nós bhí tairbhe iontach le baint ag an eacnamaíocht áitiúil as an ocáid agus ar a laghad €3 mhilliún sa bhreis á chaitheamh sa chathair.

Bhí gach leaba sa cheantair lán, ach bhí sé an-deacair lóistín a fháil sa cathair féin go háirithe. Sílim go raibh pócaí na dtiománaithe tacsaí comh lán freisin, le daoine ag dul timpeall gan aon dóchas sna busanna (nach raibh iontach sábháilte, chun an fhírinne a rá) agus iad ag fanacht lasmuigh den cathair.

Ba é an comórtas damhsa ar an sean nós ceann de na himeachtaí laethúla a bhí ar siúl. Ba chuid suntais é gan dabht agus é beo ar an aer óna trí a chlog tráthnóna Dé Sathairn. Bhí daoine chomh hóg le seacht mbliana d'aois agus roinnt eile ag damhsa le trocha bliain anúas ag glacadh páirte, ach síos tríd na haoisghrúpaí bhí an caighdeán damhsa dochreidte go hiomlán. Bhí sé soiléir ón mbualadh bos agus ón mbéiceach go léir gur bhain an lucht féachana an-taithneamh as an taispeántas.

"one out of every million"

*bad, old posts from 03ish, imported from myspace blog*
Few things annoy me as much as chain letters...

bloody things drive me up the walls!

they're much less common in the post than they used be...(apart from that weird one, "send a (freshly bought!!)pair of panties to whoever sent you this, then send it on to 50 people - you'll have 50 new pairs of panties!!!")

but that's only since chain-e-mails replaced the old-fashioned letters..!

y'know, i have to say...one out of every million of'm are actually a pleasure to recieve...! rather than a hair-pulling annoyance... they're not all bad.

here's a selection of them... the few i resisted deleting.

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Fw: When a Guy Says He Misses You...

When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

Girl facts:

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "Ill love you forever,"
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more than that

---repost this in 10 minutes and your true love will call you (etc etc)

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go here!!! He deserves it: http://www.somethingwrong.co.uk/crazy_frog_baseball/

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2 LITTLE QUESTIONS
Question 1: > If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind,
one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2: > It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three
candidates. Candidate A. > Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist.
He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day
Candidate B. > He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, > used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey
every evening.
Candidate C. > He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't > smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated
on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? > > > >
Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

















>

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. > > >
Candidate B is Winston Churchill. > > >
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler. > >
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: > > If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
> > Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging > someone. > Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep > reading... > > Never be afraid to try something new. > >

Remember: Amateurs...built the ark. Professionals...built the > Titanic > > >
And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has > a little more than 500 employees and has the following
statistics: > >


* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse > > * 7 have been arrested for fraud > > * 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses >
* 3 have done time for assault >
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit >
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges > >
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting > >
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits > >
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year... > > > >

Can you guess which organisation this is? > > > > > > Give up yet? > > > It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The > same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to > keep the rest of us in line. > > > You gotta pass this on....

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Dublin Drinking Guide
SYMPTOM: Pint appears to be crystal clear...
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him/her.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognise anyone, don't even recognise the room you're in.
FAULT: Don't panic - you've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they've any free pints anyhow.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest pet dog, complain about how house training has "gone to the dogs nowadays".

SYMPTOM: Pint appears unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to get you another pint.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You've fallen over backwards.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar counter.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains fag-ends.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tastes tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to loo, practise in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurry.
FAULT: You're looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to get you another pint.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another pub/party

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed, have yez no homes to go to
ACTION: Confirm home address with barman, grab taxi home.

SYMPTOM: Taxi's interior suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on a table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear though.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologise to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: That lager is too weak.
ACTION: Have more drink until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Ugly woman/man in your sights.
FAULT: Insufficient beer intake.
ACTION: Up dosage immediately.

SYMPTOM: Shins and toes hurt.
FAULT: You've been walking into things.
ACTION: Maintain dosage.

SYMPTOM: Squishy feeling in the hands.
FAULT: You have grabbed hold of a woman's breasts.
ACTION: Duck to avoid boyfriend's fist.

SYMPTOM: Bed is bumping around.
FAULT: Taking an ambulance ride.
ACTION: It's too late, you made complete arsehole of self.

Impartial Internet (~Rant~)

*bad, old posts from 03ish, imported from myspace blog*

those personality quiz things are so addictive!

i've a huge project due waaay too soon and whenever i get on the laptop to get somethin done, i end up tickin boxes to find out What's My Inner Hair Colour or What Breed of Dog I Am

it's mad!

I'M mad. it just takes so little effort and passes time, whenever i'm too tired from the night before to feel like doin much. except procrastinate the hours away....

i dunno what makes them so appealing to people. maybe it's that, if you get a complimentary/funny result, you can post it somewhere - letting people know yer great! without feelin like yer blabbing? or without seemin up yer own arse.

well that's not my reason. of course. *cough* nah seriously though, some results aren't exactly stuff i'd broacast to make myself look good.. i just think they're a laugh! they're pointless, mindless entertainment. for when there's nothing on tv.

and i like answering the questions more than i do getting the results. they're questions about yourself people never ask - so you never get to think about. after a good long, pointless, hour-consuming quiz, i always feel a little more enlightened as to what exactly goes on in my head. a step closer to deciphering SOME bit of sense from the mess of thoughts, all clamouring and tryin to out-shout each other.

the questions may be simple, but make you think. some quizzes are a laugh, but some can make you look at yourself. and if you get a result ya don't like, maybe you needed to hear it.

friends make allowances, and don't always tell you "you're a fucking moron" when you ARE. and when you need to hear it. so often can't be relied on. and non-friends have a tendency to say that sh!t ANYWAY so can't be relied on either really.

but when it's your own honest, private answers, and a faceless, unbiased third party giving it's opinion, it can be really helpfull.

really these quizzes are a watered-down version or the exact reason i love the internet. you can get an outside, detached person's point of view on something and that's really helped me a lot.

be it some arbitrary randomer from a chatroom, fat 30 year old internet-addicts on msn, or bitter middle-aged women on advice forums who claim to have "seen it all"... it's always interesting to get the point of view of someone who hasn't a clue what they're talking about, either to show you what NOT to do, or strengthen your hunch by forcing you to defend it.

or, the odd time, you'll find some real pearls of windom out there..cos whatever your dilemma...when you've a wire connecting you to millions of people all over the world...someone's "bin there". NO situation's as unique as ya first think.

hey look! i made a point!
better quit qhile i'm ahead.
toodles!