Is fada ó scríobh mé as Gaeilge anseo – bilingual intentions kinda gone out the window! Ach tá gaelspell agam ar mo ríomhaire anois. Class. So nílim chomh buartha faoi bhotúin (now it’s just the grammar I’ll fuck up!)
Cá’ll an leabhair “Ceart Litriú” when ya need it, eh?
Ní dheachaigh mé abhaile go Luimneach an deireadh seachtaine seo. I ndiaidh bheith chomh traochta t’réis an seachtain a bhí agam, shochraigh mé fanacht. Níor fhág mé an teach ach faoi dhó ó tháinig mé abhaile ar an Aoine! An cóisir aréir (iontach, ach ró-ólta… def earned a slagging, which i'll recieve Tuesday…), agus an t-aon uair eile a bhog mé óm chathaoir ná cúpla uair a chloig ó shin, nuair a phioc mé suas mo pizza ó Godfathers’ … (Níl sé níos saoire é a phiocadh suas, ach seo an dara huair in as many oícheanta gur fuaireas pizza. Mar sin, shiúl mé, so I wouldn’t feel as guilty/lazy!)
D’fhág mé ráiteas ar mo Facebook aréir a bhí… ait go leor…
Aoife says “Your move…”
Huh?! Aisteach or wha? N’fheadar ceard faoi a bhíos ag smaoineamh… ‘raibh sé dírithe ar duine áirithe? Gach seans go raibh. *shrugs* Though I CAN hazard a guess…
Bhí sé deas am a chaitheamh sa bhaile. Dublin-baile, I mean, not fíor-home. Tá rudaí stormy go leor thiar faoi láthair… agus nílim ag déanamh tagairt ar bith don aimsir… Bhí mé ann an deireadh seachtaine seo chaite. Bhí sé aisteach… gach éinne ag fanacht orm teacht abhaile le mo bhreithiúnas a fháil… Haha… well, not really… scéal fada… ach tá cineál ról agam sa chlann ó chailleadh mo seanmháthair cúpla bhliain ó shin, agus, táim sásta glacadh leis, agus tagann sé chugam go nádúrtha… fós… is mór an brú orm é in amantaí, ar nós i gcás an seachtain seo chaite. Ick. Messy situation.
Sílim gur chabhraigh mé go mór le mo chuid ionchur… Ach, is leor sin. (Ionchur – what a bullshit word! Chum mise focail nua coicís ó shin – Cathairdhreach! Cosúil le Tírdhreach? Cliste, no?)
Gach focail ar domhain – bhí ar duine éigin teacht suas leo. Táim i gcónaí ag lorg bealaí nua rudaí a rá as Gaeilge… Bíonn daoine ag gearrán faoi “béarlachas” agus rl. Céard fiú an bullshit sin? I ndáiríre – úsáideann muid ar fad focail agus nathanna ó teangacha eile agus muid ag labhairt Béarla – gach teanga ar domhain, bíonn tionchar ar teangacha eile orthu. Cén dochar? Is meán cumarsáid í an Ghaeilge, agus teanga ar bith, agus caithfidh tú í a úsáid i do bhealach féin. Déan do rud féin leí. Aimsíonn tú do ghuth féin nuair atá go leor den teanga foghlamtha agat, agus SIN líofacht, nuair’s féidir do pearsantacht a chur trasna! Má theastaíonn uait nathanna cainte a úsáid, agus muna bhfuil a leithéid ann sa Ghaeilge, fuck it! Úsáid é! Má caitheann daoine “like” nó “just” isteach ina gcuid Gaeilge ó am go chéile, cén dochar? Agus muid ag labhairt i mBéarla, ní ró-mhinic a bhímid buartha faoi cúrsaí gramadaí – agus níl éinne chun léimt ort má deirinn tú rud éigin nach bhfuil i gceart – tá’s againn nach scríobhaimis riamh mar sin é!
Pé scéal é… tá an obair ag dul go breá… Sin atáim a’ rá agus táim stickin’ to it!
Ach, go hionraic, is aoibhinn liom an stuif atá á dhéanamh agam faoi láthair – go háirithe an láithreoireacht raidió agus an scríbhneoireacht. Tá an t-ádh dearg orm bheith ag obair leis an legendary Dusty Rhodes chomh maith!
Táim ag moilliú síos go mór, áfach… ag cailliúint luas go ró-thapaigh agus ag coladh isteach go déanach sna maidine… leath den am, is mar gheall ar an obair san oíche a tharlaíonn sé… leath eile, mar gheall ar an easpa fuinneamh atá orm, agus an easpa muinín atá agam asam féin faoi láthair… Frustrated liom féin as bheith chomh distracted, agus unfocused is atáim. B’fhearr liom smacht a choinneal orm féin – ach ní bhímse faoi smacht agam riamh agus is mór an pian sa tóin é… (go háirithe agus mé i mo TOTAL control freak go nádúrtha..hehe..)
Táim tuirseach – can’t shake it off! Ach tiocfaidh an fuinnimh ar ais chugaim… seo an gnáth-rud domsa… An iomarca caffeine b’fhéidir!
Tá a lán ar m’intinn… táim buartha faoin crap atá ar siúl sa bhaile… Ach tá rud eile nach féidir liom stopadh ag smaoineamh faoi go háirithe – and it’s under my skin and it’s really getting irritating. Ní féidir liom ach… cur suas leis, is dóigh…
No – time to cop on. Seachas bheith ag suí agus ag déanamh mion-anailís ar gach rud, nó ag ligint nach gcuireann sé isteach orm, bheadh mé níos fearr as má thógaim aicsean éigin!
Ach céard?
Níl aon rud mícheart – níor tharla aon tubaiste – ach táim just… strussed! ‘s níl fhios agam céard ‘tá uaim. Ar a laghad, níl mórán am agam a thuilleadh le bheith ag smaoineamh faoi! :)
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Big Question!
It’s 6am. And I just wrote a big long essay-length post a few hours ago – I know!! - but must post this! Will keep it brief.
I was sitting here, unable to sleep, doing one of those shitty internet quizzes, and I came to the simplest question in the world - but it really unsettled and surprised me.
Dog or Cat?
It seemed like nothing, and I scrolled down lazily to click dog… Then I thought, why was I clicking dog?
Because they’re more loyal, nicer pets. They care.
I froze.
But they need so much more attention. And I can’t always be there. And it’d be lonely, and restless. And eat everything in the house. I don’t think I could give it the time it needs. I can’t promise I’ll be there enough. I might not be able/happy to make time for it. I might get bored of it - or take it for granted - but the poor thing would be totally reliant on me and miserable. That would be horrible!
Click cat!
But all a cat wants is affection when it suits it, and food, and for its every need to be catered for, and it’ll give nothing back.
But… at least it’s completely indifferent to neglect; Independent enough to just… up and leave.
Woah....
I was sitting here, unable to sleep, doing one of those shitty internet quizzes, and I came to the simplest question in the world - but it really unsettled and surprised me.
Dog or Cat?
It seemed like nothing, and I scrolled down lazily to click dog… Then I thought, why was I clicking dog?
Because they’re more loyal, nicer pets. They care.
I froze.
But they need so much more attention. And I can’t always be there. And it’d be lonely, and restless. And eat everything in the house. I don’t think I could give it the time it needs. I can’t promise I’ll be there enough. I might not be able/happy to make time for it. I might get bored of it - or take it for granted - but the poor thing would be totally reliant on me and miserable. That would be horrible!
Click cat!
But all a cat wants is affection when it suits it, and food, and for its every need to be catered for, and it’ll give nothing back.
But… at least it’s completely indifferent to neglect; Independent enough to just… up and leave.
Woah....
Judge this.
No weekend plans so far. Loads of work to get done, but things are going very well! Baffled by the amount I’ve done this week. Really tired. But it’s cool. Stuff’s coming together.
Sex and the City was just on. Y’know, it’s odd – I watch it all the time, yet I really don’t like anything about it, and roll my eyes at people who say it's their fave show. Though, it's one of mine!! Silly, I know... It’s had a funny effect… and a lot of it’s crap… and what I hate is that it’s the kind of crap people buy into… It's almost like a religion for some, and otherwise-smart girls take it too seriously. Or, maybe they don't - I'm referring to people I only half-know, so, how should I know? Though, I s’pose it’s still.. entertaining… And I like the episode structure…
There was a particularly good line – are we too quick to judge judging? Talking about how being judgemental is considered a bad thing. For the most part, yes, open-mindedness all the way!! But, on the other hand… Some people are just ridiculous. Sometimes judgement is good. Reminds me of the whole PCness rampage nuisance issue… Anyway… whatever.
So there’s the update. But tonight I have the night off – and I am absolutely NOT going out, so hello! Back to my beautiful, sorely-missed blog! If I could hug you, I would. (oh, feck it, internet actions don’t have to make sense…) *hugs!!*
Tonight’s topic – my well-concealed nerdiness.
On Valentine’s day (a day which I never aknowledge but, for some reason, tends to always be memorable despite my best efforts) I spent the morning sorting through family crap (headache, headache, headache and a long story for another day and a less public forum…) And – though I wasn’t in the mood – I decided I’d go up the road where the Skycon (Skynet convention thingie) dudes were having a few brews that night. It was the last night, I’d missed all the lectures, talks, and funzies, and most of the con-goers were a little droopy-lookin after so many nights in a row on the lash… But I had a really freaking good time!
I met my hero - and I still can’t believe it. Even though I didn’t get an autograph, OR a personalised cartoon (damn you bastards who did!!), OR much time with him (damn Americans and their lack of drinking stamina – he was “tired” and had an “early flight” – he was gone within an hour of me arriving!! I know it was late, but, Boo! By the way, I was indeed as dumbstruck and retarded-acting as I knew I would be. Which sucks. ‘Cos he was DAMN cute! I think that made it even MORE nerve-wracking… When nervous around a person, I look and talk to everyone BUT them… so… not exactly the best tactic…!) – it was still cool! He was tired, but still interesting to chat to (the odd time I braved a brief word..!) Rgh. Anyway…*
But that wasn’t even the highlight of the night. Bizarre as this may sound (actually, it doesn’t really…) the highlight was chatting to my fun, semi-nerdy buddies from school who I never get to see anymore. I had no idea how much I missed that crap! Also, that tall cool English guy Jeff with his little robots – awesome and very, very interesting guy. But, my school buddies, two of whom read this so not gonna say anything (lol – freaked out? You should be :P) except that it was awesome spending time with’m… talking shite… Having a few drinks… I encountered only one un-cool person, but I don’t think they meant to come across as narrow-eyed-ly judgy and unfriendly…
Shite-talk was all it was… but the difference is, it’s fascinating shite-talk! Not yer run-of-the-mill stuff!
Like Hugh and his plans for building a working Delorean. L…M…A…O… I mean, seriously! I was enthralled! Fire-tyre-tracks, dry-ice to come out of the doors… he even thought about how best to achieve the sound effects! The only thing it WON’T do is…well… travel through time… But, as we all know, that was only ever a minor feature of the Delorean……*cough*
You don’t GET that quality of shite-talk or mad idea-throwing with non-nerds. And I’m sick of hiding my nerdish ways. We’re just a more interesting people!
There was a time where I had memorised the names of almost every single dinosaur there ever was… the era they lived in… and could draw’m fairly accurately from memory… It’s just the major ones that I can still remember, though…
I am a Pokémon master. Painstakingly trained my boys to level 100! And they. Are. Unstoppable. Come and have a go if ya think yer ‘ard enuff! (And if you can manage to find your Gameboy colour in the attic)
I used to make up my own Pokémon. Have several full copybooks of detailed designs and stats info… I submitted one to a Nintendo Mag comp. I didn’t win, some rubbish Loch Ness Monster-rip-off did and – when Gold and Silver were released, with a character that was TOO similar to my concept – I was CONVINCED they’d sent it off to Tajiri behind my back along with the other great ideas that never made it into the mag… Bastards!
((Quickly done on paint: I know they don't LOOK alike, but I SWEAR I had the idea for a water-electric Pokémon before ANYONE else. And look at the hideous shitty version they DID come up with - wouldn't my little beauty have made a much better edition to Gold and Silver?))
What else...
I was a regular in a chatroom; respected and feared by n00bs. And any chatroomers here will know how much time you gotta put in to be a known "reg". I knew all the lingo, and knew the URL by heart! I can still recite it! It's about 80characters long.
I’ve played FF7 through to the end around 10 times. But, please, who hasn’t?
Same goes with Ocarina of Time.
And the original MGS.
I LOVED Advent Children. My God. Nostalgia overload.
I was always Tails.
I LOVED the Sonic cartoons. Especially the more grown-up with the angrier theme-tune! “Soniiic… he can really move! Soniiic… he’s got an AAH-ti-tuuuude…. Soniic…. He’s the fastest thing AH-LIIIIIVE!!”
I cannot get up early. Never ever could… EXCEPT… at 7am for Power Rangers before school. Every day. (Back when it was at it's peak, that is. Lost interest when it became Super-turbo-hyper-mega-cool-awesome-wanker-asteroid-power-ninja-turtle Rangers, or whatever)
I taught myself HTML (hey, I know, it’s piss-easy as languages go, but bear in mind that, back then, there was no myspace and html was considered VERY cool)
I programmed a (shitty) clock once on a computer-summer-camp-course-thingie. Niall, what the hell was the course called?
I liked Monty Python before any of my friends. I watched it with my dad. I’d also watch Star Trek with him. He introduced me to Star Wars. My brother took a while to warm to it: but I was immediately mesmerised. He started reading the Hobbit to me when I was about 6 or 7. Maybe younger… And then progressed to the Lord of the Rings. He was so good – reading every night for hours! Such diligence too!
I remember once I fell asleep, and asked, “Could you go back to that bit with ((whatever it was))..? Sorry, but that’s the last thing I remember.”
Dad: “…That was 3 chapters ago.”
But he read it again! We used to argue too. And there’s one argument we’ve never finished – to this day – about the possibility of time-travel (NOT getting into it today…) I miss those arguments.
I guess he could be blamed for my nerdiness. Along with my green eyes. You rock dad!! (Though, could’ve done without the rubbish eyesight… they’re pretty, but don’t work good!)
Anyway; judging judgement. I judge people who judge people. I am judged, every day, for having bottle-blonde hair, and acting like a ditz, and various other reasons. I'm sick of the surprise on peoples' faces when it dawns on them that, yes, there IS something going on in my pretty little head. But I like it too. It gives me a smug sort of satisfaction. When a person makes an assumption about me, or are condescending towards me, I smile to myself and think about how much smarter than them I clearly am, and how much of a dense moron they must be.
Ha. Lousy!
*in-post promos of other posts by me are bad enough, but two of the same one? Sorry. I'm not a complete whore - I just like the wikipedia-clicky-word feeling it gives to posts (and it saves me re-explaining stuff I'm referring to)
Sex and the City was just on. Y’know, it’s odd – I watch it all the time, yet I really don’t like anything about it, and roll my eyes at people who say it's their fave show. Though, it's one of mine!! Silly, I know... It’s had a funny effect… and a lot of it’s crap… and what I hate is that it’s the kind of crap people buy into… It's almost like a religion for some, and otherwise-smart girls take it too seriously. Or, maybe they don't - I'm referring to people I only half-know, so, how should I know? Though, I s’pose it’s still.. entertaining… And I like the episode structure…
There was a particularly good line – are we too quick to judge judging? Talking about how being judgemental is considered a bad thing. For the most part, yes, open-mindedness all the way!! But, on the other hand… Some people are just ridiculous. Sometimes judgement is good. Reminds me of the whole PCness rampage nuisance issue… Anyway… whatever.
So there’s the update. But tonight I have the night off – and I am absolutely NOT going out, so hello! Back to my beautiful, sorely-missed blog! If I could hug you, I would. (oh, feck it, internet actions don’t have to make sense…) *hugs!!*
Tonight’s topic – my well-concealed nerdiness.
On Valentine’s day (a day which I never aknowledge but, for some reason, tends to always be memorable despite my best efforts) I spent the morning sorting through family crap (headache, headache, headache and a long story for another day and a less public forum…) And – though I wasn’t in the mood – I decided I’d go up the road where the Skycon (Skynet convention thingie) dudes were having a few brews that night. It was the last night, I’d missed all the lectures, talks, and funzies, and most of the con-goers were a little droopy-lookin after so many nights in a row on the lash… But I had a really freaking good time!
I met my hero - and I still can’t believe it. Even though I didn’t get an autograph, OR a personalised cartoon (damn you bastards who did!!), OR much time with him (damn Americans and their lack of drinking stamina – he was “tired” and had an “early flight” – he was gone within an hour of me arriving!! I know it was late, but, Boo! By the way, I was indeed as dumbstruck and retarded-acting as I knew I would be. Which sucks. ‘Cos he was DAMN cute! I think that made it even MORE nerve-wracking… When nervous around a person, I look and talk to everyone BUT them… so… not exactly the best tactic…!) – it was still cool! He was tired, but still interesting to chat to (the odd time I braved a brief word..!) Rgh. Anyway…*
But that wasn’t even the highlight of the night. Bizarre as this may sound (actually, it doesn’t really…) the highlight was chatting to my fun, semi-nerdy buddies from school who I never get to see anymore. I had no idea how much I missed that crap! Also, that tall cool English guy Jeff with his little robots – awesome and very, very interesting guy. But, my school buddies, two of whom read this so not gonna say anything (lol – freaked out? You should be :P) except that it was awesome spending time with’m… talking shite… Having a few drinks… I encountered only one un-cool person, but I don’t think they meant to come across as narrow-eyed-ly judgy and unfriendly…
Shite-talk was all it was… but the difference is, it’s fascinating shite-talk! Not yer run-of-the-mill stuff!
Like Hugh and his plans for building a working Delorean. L…M…A…O… I mean, seriously! I was enthralled! Fire-tyre-tracks, dry-ice to come out of the doors… he even thought about how best to achieve the sound effects! The only thing it WON’T do is…well… travel through time… But, as we all know, that was only ever a minor feature of the Delorean……*cough*
You don’t GET that quality of shite-talk or mad idea-throwing with non-nerds. And I’m sick of hiding my nerdish ways. We’re just a more interesting people!
There was a time where I had memorised the names of almost every single dinosaur there ever was… the era they lived in… and could draw’m fairly accurately from memory… It’s just the major ones that I can still remember, though…
I am a Pokémon master. Painstakingly trained my boys to level 100! And they. Are. Unstoppable. Come and have a go if ya think yer ‘ard enuff! (And if you can manage to find your Gameboy colour in the attic)
I used to make up my own Pokémon. Have several full copybooks of detailed designs and stats info… I submitted one to a Nintendo Mag comp. I didn’t win, some rubbish Loch Ness Monster-rip-off did and – when Gold and Silver were released, with a character that was TOO similar to my concept – I was CONVINCED they’d sent it off to Tajiri behind my back along with the other great ideas that never made it into the mag… Bastards!
((Quickly done on paint: I know they don't LOOK alike, but I SWEAR I had the idea for a water-electric Pokémon before ANYONE else. And look at the hideous shitty version they DID come up with - wouldn't my little beauty have made a much better edition to Gold and Silver?))
What else...
I was a regular in a chatroom; respected and feared by n00bs. And any chatroomers here will know how much time you gotta put in to be a known "reg". I knew all the lingo, and knew the URL by heart! I can still recite it! It's about 80characters long.
I’ve played FF7 through to the end around 10 times. But, please, who hasn’t?
Same goes with Ocarina of Time.
And the original MGS.
I LOVED Advent Children. My God. Nostalgia overload.
I was always Tails.
I LOVED the Sonic cartoons. Especially the more grown-up with the angrier theme-tune! “Soniiic… he can really move! Soniiic… he’s got an AAH-ti-tuuuude…. Soniic…. He’s the fastest thing AH-LIIIIIVE!!”
I cannot get up early. Never ever could… EXCEPT… at 7am for Power Rangers before school. Every day. (Back when it was at it's peak, that is. Lost interest when it became Super-turbo-hyper-mega-cool-awesome-wanker-asteroid-power-ninja-turtle Rangers, or whatever)
I taught myself HTML (hey, I know, it’s piss-easy as languages go, but bear in mind that, back then, there was no myspace and html was considered VERY cool)
I programmed a (shitty) clock once on a computer-summer-camp-course-thingie. Niall, what the hell was the course called?
I liked Monty Python before any of my friends. I watched it with my dad. I’d also watch Star Trek with him. He introduced me to Star Wars. My brother took a while to warm to it: but I was immediately mesmerised. He started reading the Hobbit to me when I was about 6 or 7. Maybe younger… And then progressed to the Lord of the Rings. He was so good – reading every night for hours! Such diligence too!
I remember once I fell asleep, and asked, “Could you go back to that bit with ((whatever it was))..? Sorry, but that’s the last thing I remember.”
Dad: “…That was 3 chapters ago.”
But he read it again! We used to argue too. And there’s one argument we’ve never finished – to this day – about the possibility of time-travel (NOT getting into it today…) I miss those arguments.
I guess he could be blamed for my nerdiness. Along with my green eyes. You rock dad!! (Though, could’ve done without the rubbish eyesight… they’re pretty, but don’t work good!)
Anyway; judging judgement. I judge people who judge people. I am judged, every day, for having bottle-blonde hair, and acting like a ditz, and various other reasons. I'm sick of the surprise on peoples' faces when it dawns on them that, yes, there IS something going on in my pretty little head. But I like it too. It gives me a smug sort of satisfaction. When a person makes an assumption about me, or are condescending towards me, I smile to myself and think about how much smarter than them I clearly am, and how much of a dense moron they must be.
Ha. Lousy!
*in-post promos of other posts by me are bad enough, but two of the same one? Sorry. I'm not a complete whore - I just like the wikipedia-clicky-word feeling it gives to posts (and it saves me re-explaining stuff I'm referring to)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
All's quiet!
I have a few moments to myself. About 15 minutes. 20 if I push it. It's pretty... weird.
I've decided to give up soft drinks. Here's why...
scary right? By the time I'd read the whole way through, the thought of finishing my bottle of coke made me feel ill.
Still gonna partake in the occasional can of coke though. They're only little! And I'm gonna need the caffeine if I keep this up.
Something's gotta give. But what?
The barwork... I love it.. but it leaves me exhausted.
Evening work.. It would be very, very stupid to give that up. Not only was it my only source of income for a long time, but I can carry on working away on my laptop while I do it. It's also quite easy and the least stressful of all.
The door job thingie, and organising student night SUCH a cushy job, and the only reason I get to go to Oiche na Mac Leinn - if I quit it, that's be that. But it does mean I'm in this diabhal building for over 12 hours on a tuesday!
Well... not this tuesday.
I was very, very late for my work placement today. I am so.. so tired. I fainted! (I think!) I feel terrible - guilty and tired and ... guilty! This is why something has GOT to give. Fine, yes, I know I don't get paid for it, but I really, really wanted to make a good impression and wow them - and at first that's exactly what I did - but like, 2 weeks in and I'm just... well, let's just put it this way - the girl I work with, who's wonderful and a good friend of mine, seemed really, really pissed off with me. I don't blame her. I couldn't get away with this sparcity of punctuality anywhere else...
But I didn't say a word to her. Was petrified to... More importantly, she's heard enOUGH excuses from me already - and I'm sick of making them! I just need to get my act together. No more excuses.
Or I suppose I could ask for the work to be shared out a bit more evenly - but I don't wanna be stuck doing the crappy jobs... I'm lucky I'm not organising papers, or making coffee - I have REAL work to do!
My dad said to me today: Long distance runners pace themselves, Aoife. You're not superwoman.
Typically, the best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can't.
"You can't jump that!"
"You'll never get an A1 in English..."
"You can't cram shorthand - it's a skill you have to learn gradually."
"You can't down that in one!"
"You won't be able to lift that"
So, yeah - fuck that!
Y'know what? I was given a helluva lot to do - because they knew (or, hoped!) I was up to it. And I bleddy-well AM up to it! I am gonna find a way to get it together and blow them away.
I AM freakin superwoman! Just you wait and see..
I've decided to give up soft drinks. Here's why...
scary right? By the time I'd read the whole way through, the thought of finishing my bottle of coke made me feel ill.
Still gonna partake in the occasional can of coke though. They're only little! And I'm gonna need the caffeine if I keep this up.
Something's gotta give. But what?
The barwork... I love it.. but it leaves me exhausted.
Evening work.. It would be very, very stupid to give that up. Not only was it my only source of income for a long time, but I can carry on working away on my laptop while I do it. It's also quite easy and the least stressful of all.
The door job thingie, and organising student night SUCH a cushy job, and the only reason I get to go to Oiche na Mac Leinn - if I quit it, that's be that. But it does mean I'm in this diabhal building for over 12 hours on a tuesday!
Well... not this tuesday.
I was very, very late for my work placement today. I am so.. so tired. I fainted! (I think!) I feel terrible - guilty and tired and ... guilty! This is why something has GOT to give. Fine, yes, I know I don't get paid for it, but I really, really wanted to make a good impression and wow them - and at first that's exactly what I did - but like, 2 weeks in and I'm just... well, let's just put it this way - the girl I work with, who's wonderful and a good friend of mine, seemed really, really pissed off with me. I don't blame her. I couldn't get away with this sparcity of punctuality anywhere else...
But I didn't say a word to her. Was petrified to... More importantly, she's heard enOUGH excuses from me already - and I'm sick of making them! I just need to get my act together. No more excuses.
Or I suppose I could ask for the work to be shared out a bit more evenly - but I don't wanna be stuck doing the crappy jobs... I'm lucky I'm not organising papers, or making coffee - I have REAL work to do!
My dad said to me today: Long distance runners pace themselves, Aoife. You're not superwoman.
Typically, the best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can't.
"You can't jump that!"
"You'll never get an A1 in English..."
"You can't cram shorthand - it's a skill you have to learn gradually."
"You can't down that in one!"
"You won't be able to lift that"
So, yeah - fuck that!
Y'know what? I was given a helluva lot to do - because they knew (or, hoped!) I was up to it. And I bleddy-well AM up to it! I am gonna find a way to get it together and blow them away.
I AM freakin superwoman! Just you wait and see..
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I miss my blog.
I was just getting good at it, blogging regularly and all that -- I was getting REALLY good at it! But I'm so busy. I don't have any time. I love it - I'm on work experience and it's amazing fun, challenging! fascinating! engaging! so, so, so rewarding.
But exhausting. And I still have to work part time almost every evening cos I don't get a penny from the work placement, as it's part of my college course.... sigh. I wish this was my only job. I could give so much more to it if I wasn't so completely drained from the night before.. not that I'm not doing it well as it is - I am!! But I know I could be so much better - faster - but not with this cloud of tired fuzziness hanging over me... I really, REALLY hope I don't look as tired as I feel...
Wonder how long I can keep this up? Will I gradually just start coming in later and later in the mornings? Or will I start sleeping downstairs and never leave the place? Ha...wouldn't put it past me!
Big, very horrible bomb dropped on me last night (bad, bad news) and was so shook up that I couldn't sleep till 6... which was annoying cos I had to get up at 8... to run into college and apologise for someone else not doing their job and leaving it up to me at the last minute... no, AFTER the last minute.. the deadline had PAST when i was told; it's not done, you do it!
so... 2 hours sleep... and I was tired enough as it was... and... yeah.
That's actually all I have time to write. *shrug*
seeya.
But exhausting. And I still have to work part time almost every evening cos I don't get a penny from the work placement, as it's part of my college course.... sigh. I wish this was my only job. I could give so much more to it if I wasn't so completely drained from the night before.. not that I'm not doing it well as it is - I am!! But I know I could be so much better - faster - but not with this cloud of tired fuzziness hanging over me... I really, REALLY hope I don't look as tired as I feel...
Wonder how long I can keep this up? Will I gradually just start coming in later and later in the mornings? Or will I start sleeping downstairs and never leave the place? Ha...wouldn't put it past me!
Big, very horrible bomb dropped on me last night (bad, bad news) and was so shook up that I couldn't sleep till 6... which was annoying cos I had to get up at 8... to run into college and apologise for someone else not doing their job and leaving it up to me at the last minute... no, AFTER the last minute.. the deadline had PAST when i was told; it's not done, you do it!
so... 2 hours sleep... and I was tired enough as it was... and... yeah.
That's actually all I have time to write. *shrug*
seeya.
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